LeaderShape Day 7: Think Different.

It’s been a couple weeks since I graduated from AFLV LeaderShape, and I often think to myself, “Today is Day 7: Now what?” (At LeaderShape, we use the term Day 7 to describe everything after the 6 days we were together.)

Coming into LeaderShape, I was one of those people who perpetually had their “cool cap” on. While I could see things happening that I didn’t agree with, I often turned a blind eye to it. I could hear people saying things that I didn’t think were right, but I would never be the one to raise my voice.  That feeling you get in your stomach when something’s wrong? I ignored it.

My excuse? Next time.

Next time I’ll speak up. Next time I’m going to do something about that. Next time I’m not going to be a bystander. Next time I’m going to challenge the status quo. Next time I’ll be like the people that I look up to.  Next time…

I was afraid to talk about topics I was passionate about because I was afraid that people wouldn’t agree with me. Afraid to take a step forward because I thought someone might stand in my way.

I’m not who I was.

After a week of laughter, tears, and newly found friendship, AFLV LeaderShape changed my perspective on a lot of things. But most of all, it changed my perspective on myself. Through the realization of my weaknesses, I learned that I must overcome my insecurities to be the leader I want to be. The leader I need to be.  The leader I am.

I learned that genuine passion for a cause is contagious. And how social entrepreneurship can be a reality, not just something a select few people are capable of. I learned how sometimes, all it takes is one voice to change an entire room’s opinion. One voice.

I’m not who I was.

Throughout the week I had the time to think about a lot of different things:

How do I question and challenge our actions that compromise our values as Greeks?

How can I spread my love and excitement for dance marathon to others?

Can my vision of global access to quality education for all children ever really be a reality?

By the end of the week, I could feel the change within me. Never in my life had I felt so grounded about who I was, what I stood for, and the things I wanted to change. For the first time, my goals felt attainable rather than overwhelming. My aspirations for Greek Life, dance marathon, and my vision all made sense for once because I had a plan and the resources to make them happen.

But now, it’s Day 7. And what am I doing?

Working 60 hours a week. Packing to go back to school. Getting ready for UConn’s Panhellenic Formal Recruitment. Trying to study for the GREs.

But I’ve also started researching different non-profits in order to decide which one I will use to sponsor a child in Africa or Asia (one of my manageable goals). I’ve been answering questions from my peers about how they can start a dance marathon at their school. I’ve started having conversations about our new Fraternal Values Society and the amazing potential it has for our Greek community.

As the summer winds to a close and I move back into UConn, I will not forget all the lessons learned at LeaderShape, my new friends, and the goals I have laid out. Most of all, I will not be silent. After all, I’m not who I was.

“You’re a leader all the time, don’t turn it on and off.”

Vanessa Ball 

Pi Beta Phi

University of Connecticut

Cameron’s Day 4 Blog Entrée:

Waking with the savory taste of the guidance from guest panelists such as Dr. Tisa Mason, the Vice President of Student Affairs at Fort Hays State University, still fresh on my mind, I hungered for the leadership lessons AFLV-LeaderShape had to offer me today. When I saw that The Art of Possibility and Star Power were some of the topics on today’s LeaderShape menu, my first reaction was a skeptic doubt that today would involve more than a cheesy leadership infomercial. However, I thought to myself “Trust the process (TTP) Cameron. You’ve made it this far.” Soon after this self encouragement I discovered some of my new favorite quotes while watching a movie titled Radiating Possibility, a series of recorded orations where philharmonic composer Benjamin Zander compels his audience to be “fascinated” with their mistakes. I took this, not as an excuse to dwell unhealthily on the stumbles taken on my leadership adventure, but I will forever be fascinated with learning from my mistakes rather than withdrawing from them. I had to realize that Zander was not asking me to obsess over my short comings; that would never allow me to grow. I should view mistakes as a note card, constantly in my mind for me to revisit should I need to be reminded of what works and what doesn’t. 

Reflecting on my breakfast of understanding possibility, I had came to realize that if it is truly an art, it would take great practice and intense culmination to get it as close to perfect as possible. It would take some time to sit in the “front row” of my life, quiet any negative “inner voice,” and to fascinate myself with learning from mistakes. My practice, in true Leadershape form, would come later that night in unconventional ways. Now, however, was the time to go to a luncheon; earthquake and chicken salad were the main dishes on the menu. Our new activity brought our family clusters together in an attempt to get out of a fictional earthquake with a set of rules, travesties, circumstances, and a foursome of unexpectedly spoiled chicken salad sandwiches. We learned at end of this exercise that I all situations, especially when on the cusp of survival, attention to detail and effective collaboration behaviors were essential to coming out of uncomfortable circumstances. Like the earthquake, circumstance will come to my chapter and I unannounced and, at times, out of our own control. It is up to us from that point, to utilize both the knowledge and experience from our own lives and lead with appropriate behaviors and detail. After this exercise, I explained how my father always told me that instead of “trying” to do something, say getting yourself out of a disaster, it only gets done if you “just do it.” Though it may at first sound hard, I realized by speaking with other Leadershape classmates how they achieved success in the activity and that, ultimately, it is possible.

There was that word again: possibility. By this point I still only knew one side of the word and it was the side that wasn’t too hard a lesson to digest. But, what about the      other side? For dessert, we had a lesson that started out with sugary sweet good intentions and ended with a bitter after taste of what exactly Power & Influence can bring out of leaders. You see, Benjamin Zander never excluded the possibility of failure; he simply recommended we pay it little attention. What we needed to pay attention to were the behaviors that could cause failure. We, as Greek brothers and sisters, should be the first to admit that failure is possible, but also know that, we can not half-ass intentions. In this simulation of power struggle, whether that power represented influence, money, or responsibility, I, along with most of my fellow classmates, failed to uphold the values that made our intentions strong. I instead upheld the desire to be successful over my values, which was the exact opposite of what I should do, because I perceived it as “just a game.” One of my favorite Drake songs advises that life isn’t “a rehearsal; the camera’s always rolling.” This means that regardless, of whether I thought this to be a harmless game, it was that practice, in true Leadershape form, that came in an unconventional manner. I will say, however, that we succeeded in an effort to educate ourselves on the dangers of getting a sugar rush from the power that we sometimes don’t deserve. Think of all the sour looks bystanders wouldn’t send our way if Greek life upheld their values at ALL times. We have to realize that it’s not “just a game” we are not “just in a fraternity” our values are not “just a few words” and “if you think they are,” as my facilitator, Cara Jenkins says, “it is just an excuse.” It was from that point on that I vowed to no longer use my fraternity and values as an excuse to rise to the top, as a tool to get what I desired, but as a gift that allows me to Love and Respect my Greek community, as well each and every other community I belong to. Moreover, I promised not to dwell on this mistake, but to use it as a recipe note card, constantly reminding me of the right and wrong steps to take in my leadership adventure. Doing this would allow me to rise from this travesty and rise to another occasion with true leadership.

Cameron Martin

Alpha Tau Omega

Middle Tennessee State University

AFLV LeaderShape: Day 2 by Reid Palmer

The Value of One, the Power of All

In any group activity there will always be different individuals who make different contributions.  However, the success of that group is a shared accomplishment, a shared achievement, since everyone’s individual role was integral to that success.

Maximizing individual achievement for group success is invariably a job that is tasked to the leader of the group.  How you become an effective leader is not innate: it is not either you can, or cannot.  Like virtually everything else in life being a leader is something you must learn to be and a role you yourself must grow into to be comfortable.  LeaderShape is a vehicle for learning these skills, and doing the kind of self-discovery required to becoming a leader. Today, on day 2 of the AFLV LeaderShape we challenged ourselves to learn the value of one, the power of all.

The value of one, the power of all plays out in many areas for those of us not lucky enough to be Greek.  My best experience with this idea and where I learned its true meaning was on the football field.  Although we love fantasy football and individual accomplishments, football remains the ultimate team sport.  Granted it is one individual who crosses the goal line for a touchdown: the value of one, but it is the rest of the team on the field that made that play and the whole team gets six points: the power of all.  What most causal viewers of the game don’t often realize is what went into making that play a success.  All of the coaches designing plays, the players working hard in practice to give those starting players a “good look” all contribute, all week to success on game day.  Each individual did their part: the value of one, and collectively everyone celebrates: the power of all.

Today at LeaderShape to learn this valuable lesson we addressed in many facets.  To start the day we were grouped into our own small teams and put through some physical challenges to begin to learn the value of one, the power of all.  Through various challenges this short sentence began to ring true again and again.  In each challenged we faced there was an individual, at times many, at times maybe too many who lead the group with an idea or plan.  These individuals were adding their value to the group, and each individual contribution was unique in its own way, they all added up to the group being successful in our task.  Eyes began to open as the words we spoke of after breakfast started to become more than words, but more of a way of how we are going to be leading our respective organizations.  Each individual made a valuable contribution and in turn made our group more powerful.

To delve deeper into understanding we spent the most of the rest of the afternoon learning more about ourselves and others.  Of course there is no understanding others without first understanding ourselves.  Understanding where we come from, our tendencies, and strengths, and then learning that not everyone has those same tendencies and behaviors was the basic framework we started with to expand our knowledge.  Learning that others have different strengths from us, allow us as leaders, to put them in a role that is going to suit them best, not just assuming they can do all we can do.  This is getting the value out of one, or each individual.

A long and necessary session and discussion on our basis, our prejudices, and our move to discriminate was how we wrapped this evening.  Moments of reflection and examination brought realizations that we are each unique with individual identities, multiple identities.  Our identities intersect at many places, and these points of intersection are how we make connections from our groups and grow our communities.  We celebrated the value of each individual and learned that by doing this we strengthen our organizations, become better leaders, and we tap into that power of all.

I learned the lessons of the value of one, the power of all through a different organization other than Greek.  However, whether you are Greek or not this lesson is one that leaders of their organizations in school will take with them to graduation and beyond, and when we are leaders of organizations, businesses, schools, colleges, or any group we will draw on the lessons learned today at LeaderShape: the value of one, the power of all.

Reid Palmer

Metropolitan State College of Denver

AFLV LeaderShape: Day 2 by Kelsey Cunningham

After a busy and slightly overwhelming first day in Kansas, I was excited to continue the AFLV LeaderShape curriculum and get to know the other students a little better. The morning was dedicated to team building exercises in which we were split into teams and given various tasks to complete. Though frustrating at the first introduction, it was interesting to see the different personalities and their corresponding approaches to the problems. Similar to my experience with my Greek organization at school, I learned that my approach may not be the best one and it may take some deliberation to reach the best solution. I was able to connect with my teammates better after we completed a task, and the last couple seemed easier than the first because we were more comfortable with each other and had learned from previous experiences.

The theme for today was ‘the value of one the power of all.’ This concept was reinforced first through the team building because it was a practical, real-life example of how each individual has a contribution and their input is crucial to the potential success or failure of the whole group. After working with our teams we took the DiSC personality test which highlighted strengths and flaws of each type and how that individual can best contribute to a group. We were grouped into sections with our personality and brainstormed how we approach a situation and what others can do to help us compensate for any inconsistencies. In any group, it is important to recognize the different personalities that are necessary to its everyday functionality. For example, Greek organizations would not exist without the Conscientiousness personality because they would most likely maintain the chapter’s finances, paperwork and logistics. The Influence personality type is equally as important because they are most likely to be the most effective recruiters and maintain high morale throughout the year. Taking this test and listening to various methods in which different personality types approached a situation made me think about my own chapter and how crucial respecting the personality differences is in the cohesiveness of a group.

The final portion of the day concluded the concept of the importance of valuing an individual to strengthen the integrity and effectiveness of the whole, specifically concerning stereotypes and discrimination perpetuated by preconceived notions held about groups of people. I am the first to admit yesterday I immediately categorized every person I was introduced to before I even got to know them. This tendency can cause animosity in a group or between groups, and can seriously devalue a person simply based on general characteristic that is no way true about every member of that group. We were able to really get to know different students when we shared how they have felt discriminated against or perpetuated discrimination in our family cluster discussions at the end of the night. This was the most memorable experience because I was able to hear personal experiences from people in my group and how they have been affected by discrimination based on sexual orientation, gender, race, and religion. Coming from a small town without much personal input to the conversation, it was really powerful to hear the situations others in my group had been exposed to and how they dealt with the issues. This conversation made me re-evaluate what goes on in my chapter and Greek community at UCONN. In addition, I am confident I will come back to school in August with a new appreciation of different backgrounds and personalities and their potential contributions to the group. 

Kelsey Cunningham

University of Connecticut

Kappa Alpha Theta

AFLV LeaderShape: Day 1 by Madeleine Stroth

AFLV LeaderShape: Day 1

I won’t lie… the drive from Iowa City, IA to Lawrence, KA was rough.  Waking up early to sit in a car for hours only to end up missing one… or two exists, is not exactly my idea of a great morning.  After finally arriving at the KU campus, and getting lost a few more times, I was walking up the steps of the Phi Kappa Psi chapter structure and beginning an experience I had been told I would never forget.
 

Signing in and getting acquainted with the sleeping quarters was the easy part, but suddenly, I felt an emotion I wasn’t used to.  I was nervous.  I’m talking racing nerves.  Had I really given up an entire week of summer to a leadership development program? All at once I was silently overcome with doubt in what I had gotten myself into… or maybe what my advisors let me get myself into. Hmm...

This unsettling rush of nerves was thankfully and quickly relaxed by blaring music and the joyful entrance of the AFLV LeaderShape faculty.  My mood and outlook for the week flipped dramatically and I was sure I had made the right choice.

Opening discussions and the encouragement of the staff to “dive right in” allowed me to make fast friends and participate in intelligent and in-depth discussions about leadership qualities and opportunities.

As if I wasn’t excited enough for the rest of the week, I was then introduced to my Family Cluster, the small group I would be spending a great deal of time with in the coming days.  Immediately our small group began to share our abridged life stories and more importantly, we shared laughs along the way.  

I am so happy I have the opportunity to connect with this small group of leaders who took the same risk coming here as I did, braving the unknown, and hoping for the best.  

Here’s to the Alpha group of AFLV LeaderShape adventurers!  I know it’s going to be great!

Madeleine Stroth
The University of Iowa

AFLV LeaderShape Day 1 by Olivia Evans

 

AFLV LeaderShape, Day 1

LeaderShape. Wow. This word, just a few months ago, was an illusion; a title on an application; a far off summer plan. When I woke up at three am this morning in Lake Oroville, CA to drive to the airport in Sacramento to board my flight to come to Kansas City and then Lawrence, this word became the outline for my life over the next week… And what a great week it’s looking to be.

Upon my arrival at the airport, I found a group of fellow Greek-letter sporting young adults with large suitcases and awkward expressions. Within minutes of being on the bus, we had found commonalities, shared stories, and made each other laugh. Jumping into a situation like LeaderShape that has no exact description of experiences leaves a lot of room for “what if’s,” and trepidations- about being liked, about finding friends, and about coming home a stronger person. It was obvious to me, however, within just one hour of being in Kansas, that this California girl did not have to worry about any of those things.

As a communications major, I find words to be important: not just what we say but how we say them; how we use them. Our LeaderShape handbook defines “leadership” with many words, one of them being action. Action is the word I chose to focus on today because it embodies so much. Action requires thought, planning, drive, and the conquering of the fear of rejection. All of us Greek students initially conquered a fear by choosing to rush: putting ourselves out in the world to be judged and accepted or rejected by peer groups that we hoped to one day call family. In our lives, we have taken millions of actions and will take millions more, and I find it to be such an important component of leadership because a good leader knows how to use action or understand the importance of action.       

           
This week, it is my goal to use my actions as a leader, co-leader, and follower to the best of my abilities. As James Dean once said, “I can’t change the direction of the wind but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” Being able to adjust actions as new situations arise is an admirable and useful quality in any person, regardless of position or status.

            Tonight, there are many words on my mind, all of which are positive and most of which are sure to be trending on Twitter nationwide over the next week due to the outstanding program myself and my fellow Alpha Class of AFLV LeaderShape are experiencing.

           
Thank you, Alpha Gamma Delta (Delta Iota Chapter) for giving me a family and thank you to that family for sending me here.

xoxo,

Olivia Evans

California State University, Chico