Hazing - It's Weird

We're totally serious on this one. As we talked about National Hazing Prevention Week in the office, we tried to be really deep and figure out why people haze. But as we talked about different hazing activities people partake in, we kept ending up at the same reaction:
"That's really freakin' weird."

A summary of our faces

Think about it though. Let's pretend we're explaining some of our activities to our parents. Let's even pretend our mom is not like a regular mom, but a cool mom.

Mom: What is the 4-1-1? What has everybody been up to? What's the hot gossip?
Hazer: Well, tonight we had a line up, so we made the pledges stand side-by-side. Then we all pointed out where each girl needs to tone up. It was really fun, and they appreciated the constructive criticism about their bodies. One girl even cried!
Mom: Wait ... what? Honey, I'm confused. That doesn't sound fun; it sounds weird and mean. Why would you want to look at all the pledges in their underwear?
Hazer: Well, she needed to prove she belonged. It's like, the rules.
Mom: But why would you pick her for a pledge if she has so many things to fix? Maybe you should do that whole rush thing better and pick girls you don't think you need to fix.
Hazer: Mom, go fix your hair.

Even if you had a cool mom, explaining some of the activities that chapters use to haze is hard to justify because it sounds kind of insane.

Even when we were trying to use common excuses like "they need to prove they belong," the activities just sounded weird. In what universe are line ups, pledge book signing, dressing in embarrassing costumes, or blindfolded quizzes considered normal behavior, let alone behaviors you could use to prove your worth? A recent Cosmo story of one woman's account of her experience being hazed has garnered attention for degrading women in general, but mostly because no one could look at these activities and call them normal by any standards.

Take a look around you this week. There are many great statistics and campaigns that tell the physical and psychological effect of hazing. There is also a lot of great info about what could happen to hazers since it's against the law in 44 states. But take a step back and look at hazing from a normal perspective: it's pretty weird.

Good Times are Consensual

We seriously never imagined the day when we would be giving a shoutout to Playboy for its perspective about sex. But the day is here, and we're all about Playboy's Top Ten Party Commandments for a Consensual Good Time.

As we've talked about before, many behaviors, attitudes, and words on college campuses across America are conducive to a rape culture. But as Playboy puts it, "Consent is all about everyone having a good time. Rape is only a good time if you’re a rapist. And f@¢# those people."

Why does this matter to you as a fraternity leader?

Let's think about the overall perception of fraternity men. There are a lot of uninformed people out there who think we're all rapists. But, just like the examples Playboy's list gives, there are many ways for men to stand against rape. 

Fraternity men at Northwest Missouri State University, the University of Iowa, Ohio University, Washington University in St. Louis, Wittenberg University, and countless other universities are leading the way in efforts like A Walk in Her Shoes and No Woman Left Behind.

In fact, a recent study finds fraternity men have lower levels of hyper-masculinity, a predictor of sexual aggression, than unaffiliated male students. We're not saying we're perfect by any means, but the current sexual assault education fraternities receive should serve as a catalyst for fraternity men to educate their entire campus communities.

Not sure where to start? There are plenty of creative ideas in Playboy's list, or you can look into national movements like Men Can Stop Rape and One Student.

If the Hef can take a stand for a consent, we're pretty sure you can, too.

Editor's note: We've recently discovered that this article is a hoax by the group FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture and was not published by Playboy. But that does not detract from these great ideas, and the group's ideas are spot on.

It's Not Just Us

Fraternity/sorority members leading the charge at Marshall University

September is the month that holds Hazing Prevention Week, and with that comes a bunch of articles, blogs, and social media posts about preventing hazing in fraternities and sororities.

Many of you feel singled out by #NHPW and are quick to bring up the argument that it's not just fraternities and sororities. Trust us, we feel ya on this one.

After a two-year suspension, the Florida A&M band has returned, and in the past week, the Towson University cheerleading squad has been suspended for competition for one year for an alleged hazing incident. ESPN is notorious for highlighting the rookie hazing in NFL training camps each year.

But just as we coach our chapters with recruitment and public relations efforts, perception is reality. As long as any of our chapters haze, fraternities and sororities are an easy target. If public perception is that all of us haze the crap out of people, others' realities are that we haze the crap out of people.

However, this concept can be applied to improve our image and showcase what we're actually about. As the groups who are most often targeted, we can and should take the lead in the hazing prevention efforts in our campus communities.

One of the main differences between fraternal organizations and other student organizations is that we explicitly say we are about brother/sisterhood and building better people. As values-based organizations, it's our job to tell people what we're about and take a stand against hazing. The sustainability of our organizations is dependent upon it. These values that we stand on and talk about so often are the main reason we should be the leaders in hazing prevention. It's in our founders' ideals that we stand against hazing.

So this September, let your actions and words create a new perception. Let everyone know what we're really about.

Running Into the Fire

photo from Getty Images

If you’re like me (and most people) this week, you have been focused on the aftermath of the unthinkable events that took place on Monday during the Boston Marathon that left 176 people injured and took the lives of three others. This serves as an all-too-familiar example of senseless tragedy; one that falls within a day of the anniversary of the Virginia Tech shootings, within a week of the anniversary of Columbine, and within months of the shootings in Newtown, CT. These are just a few examples, and unfortunately, regardless of age, we could all list countless others that have happened in our lifetime.

In light of yesterday’s events, I was asked to write this blog for AFLV members and as I thought it about it, the story line became clear: the resiliency of the good always seems to overcome the intention of the bad. For those of you who could bear to watch the video from yesterday, you may have seen the same thing I saw: the countless number of people running INTO the smoke to help others. You may have heard the stories I heard: marathoners running past the finish line directly to the hospital to give blood and others tearing off articles of clothing to use as tourniquets for the wounded. After an attempt to strike paralyzing fear in the hearts and minds of the people, the resiliency of the good seemed to again overcome the intention of the bad.

Is there a connection to the fraternity/sorority experience? Maybe. Maybe there is some connection that can be made, but that seems inconsequential given the gravity of the situation in Boston and certainly that conversation can be reserved for another time and place in the future. Perhaps our focus should be on the connection of people, the connection of humanity. As I referenced above, the one image that will ultimately stick with me from yesterday are the people running in to help those who needed it. What are the situations and who are the people in our lives - in our communities- that need us to “run in”, whether in response to a tragedy or even in our normal daily lives? Will we act in those moments? Are we currently?

For those who know me, you know I have affinity for the TV show The West Wing and while that may seem trivial in this moment, a friend from Boston posted a video on my Facebook timeline Monday night from the episode 20 Hours in America. I share this video and one of its quotes with you today as a tribute of sorts:

“Every time we think we have measured our capacity to meet a challenge, we look up and we’re reminded that that capacity may well be limitless”

This blog is not about fraternity. Yes, fraternity is about helping people and doing the right thing (one great example being the men of the Phi Kappa Theta at MIT), but moreover this blog is about people, and the power of people to overcome and to help others do the same.

Additional recommended blog post: My Heart is in Boston by Steve Good, Founder of Greeks for Good.

Guest blogger: Ryan O'Rourke, AFLV Director of Education & Curriculum Design

Why Greeks for Good? Issues Within Greek Philanthropy That Have Led to the Development of the Program

Written By Steve Good, Founder of GrassrootGive

Philanthropy. The term is one that you’ll hear over and over when you to talk to members of fraternal organizations around the world. It is a term that has become synonymous with Greek life, and it is a feather in our caps when we discuss what we do to non-members.

Our favorite definition of the term is as follows:

Philanthropy is about giving of yourself. All you have to do is care about something – an organization, a cause or a mission – and give something of yourself to support something that has touched your heart.

As mentioned, philanthropy is something we do. But could we do it better? This past summer, Mark Koepsell and I began a conversation about Greek philanthropy that covered such questions as “Why do we do it?”, “What are the issues?”and “What could we do to solve the issues?”

Personally, I had fallen in love with the power of grassroots fundraising through the development of Phi Delta Theta’s Iron Phi program and had recently created GrassrootGive to bring grassroots fundraising to other non-profits. Mark, being the Executive Director at the Association of Fraternal Leadership & Values, an organization that prides itself on being the showcase for cutting-edge fraternity/sorority programming, technology, thinking, and concepts, offered community-wide thinking about how to address the subject on a larger scale. It was through the progression of these conversations that we decided to commit ourselves to tackling the issues within Greek philanthropy that are present. With the gracious commitment of the AFLV board, the Greeks for Good concept was created.

Concepts are great, but all of us involved knew that the development of the program had to begin with the question “Why?” This one-word question first led to the development of the top five issues within Greek philanthropy.

1. Having charities of choice but not putting anything behind developing these relationships.

99% of our fraternal organizations have named partner charities for their members to support. The concept is a great one but only if our organizations are committing time, resources and energy to develop these relationships. The reality of the situation is that most of our organizations are not doing this or could do better. One has to believe that the reason for this comes down to business decisions. While it’s great that our members are supporting our partner charities, leaders of our organizations have to ask the question, “How does this enhance our mission AND our bottom line.” If that question can’t be answered positively, the business decision is made to not spend time, resources and energy to enhance these relationships.

2. Trying to convince our members about what they should care about rather than understanding what causes are important to our members.

One of the downfalls to naming a partner charity for our organizations is that it immediately turns away our members who would rather support a different cause because of a personal connection in their lives. For example, an individual who has lost a parent to cancer may not have the desire to support a non-cancer-related cause that his/her organization has deemed its partner cause. By naming a partner cause, we’re turning off a large percentage of our membership bases.


3. Not understanding philanthropy, the cause that we’re trying to support and how it affects others.

No matter what causes our members are supporting, we have a great deal of work to do to educate our members about the cause and why they are supporting it. Do this: Ask a group of your members about philanthropy on your campus, within your organization, within their chapter, or in their personal lives. Nine out of 10 responses will result in these members talking about a philanthropy event rather than the cause or the outcomes of their fundraising efforts. This is a problem. To most of our members, philanthropy has become an event or a requirement for other things rather than a solution to the world’s problems. To solve this problem, we must educate our members about philanthropy in general as well as the causes they are supporting. Events can become the platform to make that connection, but many times the connection is left out. It’s like recruitment; events themselves do nothing to recruit new members. The connections made at these events are what brings in new members.


4. Non-effective fundraising for causes. Heavy expenses.

Many of our fundraising practices are archaic. The number one issue is that some practices are not modernized to the way our members communicate. If you’re not fundraising through a web-based tool, you’re missing out. In 2001, 4% of people gave online. In 2011, it was 65%. If you’re not capturing the power of social media, you’re missing out. Social media is creating “free agents” or people who want to raise funds outside of the 501c3 domain. It’s given each of us a voice to scream what we are passionate about and show others that we have an identity of “social good.” If the organizations that they are passionate about are not providing an opportunity for them to raise funds, they will go elsewhere. Now, I’m not saying that traditional approaches must be left behind, rather, a well-rounded plan that includes many mediums is the best route. The benefit to web-based fundraising practices is that they are affordable and keep expenses down. Lower expenses result in more dollars that can be applied to outcomes that help further the cause.

5. We ask our members to give, but we don’t relinquish control and ask our members to raise funds for our missions.

Our organizations’ fundraising efforts should not be limited to how many paid fundraisers we have on our staffs. We all have thousands of members who love our missions. Why aren’t we equipping these members with a tool that allows them to show their pride? Doing so results in a very large fundraising staff and a larger pool of potential donors (the networks of our members). Many organizations are afraid to ask their members to raise money for them. Why? Members want to give. We polled 200 students at a recent AFLV conference and asked, “Would you raise money for both a cause of choice AND your fraternal organization if you were given the opportunity?” 77% of these students said yes! Only 23% said they would only want to raise money for an outside cause. Simply put, allowing our members to raise money for us in conjunction with an outside cause helps us strengthen our organizations, which in turn will help us strengthen our outside causes.

So how will Greeks for Good solve these issues?

1. Having charities of choice but not putting anything behind developing these relationships.

Two of the first goals listed for the program are to: 1) Strengthen the relationships between fraternal organizations and their philanthropic partners and 2) Raise money and support for the missions of fraternity and sorority foundations and their partner charities. Simply put, we want to help our fraternal organizations strengthen the relationships with partner causes. We understand the limitations of time and resources within your organizations or communities. That’s why we want to help build your external fundraising core. We’ll do this by mobilizing more of our members to raise funds for our causes as well as our organizations. Remember, stronger organizations mean stronger relationships with our causes.

2. Trying to convince our members about what they should care about rather than understanding what causes are important to our members.

We provide options for members to raise money for a variety of causes, but we’ll also give every individual the opportunity to raise 50% of their funds for their fraternal organization’s foundation. If an individual interacts with the main Greeks for Good fundraising platform, s/he will have the opportunity to raise funds for a plethora of causes. If an individual interacts with Greeks for Good through a campus-sponsored sub-platform, s/he will have the opportunity to select from a list of causes supported by fraternal organizations on that campus. If an individual interacts with Greeks for Good through a fraternal organization-sponsored sub-platform, s/he will have the opportunity to raise funds for his/her fraternal organization’s foundation and its partner cause. We want to provide every participant with the opportunity to raise funds for a cause that is important to him/her.


3. Not understanding philanthropy, the cause that we’re trying to support and how it affects others.

At the heart of Greeks for Good is philanthropy education. We want to teach members of fraternal organizations what it means to be philanthropic, why it’s important and how our organizations and their causes rely on philanthropic support. We’ll do this through self-guided curriculum that is built into the program. As participants reach fundraising milestones, they will be fed email-based curriculum that teaches them about philanthropy and challenges them to complete exercises that will help process the education. Through campus-sponsored sub-platforms (their own Greeks for Good fundraising website), campuses will have the opportunity to tailor pieces of the curriculum. For example, we could teach your students about why it’s important to give to your school’s foundation. Through fraternal organization-sponsored sub-platforms (their own Greeks for Good fundraising website) we’ll customize the curriculum to help an organization’s members learn about what its foundation does and why it’s important to support it.

4. We ask our members to give, but we don’t relinquish control and ask our members to raise funds for our missions.

Greeks for Good is grassroots fundraising. Grassroots fundraising allows the masses to raise funds for what they’re passionate about. It will enlarge fundraising staffs, enhance a campus’s philanthropic activity, and open doors to new donor pools. More than 80% of donors reached through participants will be first-time donors to the cause and the organization that the participant is supporting. It will free up time and resources for your campus or organization to tackle other issues.

5. Non-effective fundraising for causes. Heavy expenses.

Greeks for Good will provide a web-based, social media equipped platform that is cost effective. Every participant will be given a personal fundraising page to tell his/her story and to discuss the causes that he/she is supporting. Individuals will raise funds while completing personal athletic goals, in conjunction with individual or group philanthropy events, or by setting up tribute pages that allow the individual to celebrate others through memorials, dedications, anniversaries, or by giving up birthday gifts. Individuals will also have the opportunity to raise funds to support their attendance at an AFLV service immersion experience. Participants will be able to upload contacts, send emails, facilitate donations, track donations, thank donors, share their progress via Facebook and Twitter and see how their efforts are comparing to their peers. They will receive incentives as they reach fundraising milestones.

AFLV and GrassrootGive do not benefit from donations through the system. 5.5 cents of the dollar go to our software provider that powers the system and ~2.2 cents of the dollar is taken to process credit card gifts. AFLV and GrassrootGive revenues are through participation fees. Individuals who interact with the main Greeks for Good platform are charged $5 to participate. We’ll refund that amount if the individual raises $300. For a campus to create a Greeks for Good sub-platform (their own Greeks for Good fundraising website), the cost is $1.50 per Greek student within its community (minimum cost of $2,500 and maximum cost of $5,000). The first five to join us will get a rate of $1.00 per Greek student ($2,500 minimum cost). For a fraternal foundation to create a Greeks for Good sub-platform (their own Greeks for Good fundraising website), the cost is $1.00 per undergraduate member within the organization (minimum cost of $5,000 and maximum costs of $10,000). The first five to join us will get a rate of $.75 per undergraduate member ($5,000 minimum cost). Included in this fee is the ability for alumni and alumnae to participate as well.

We’re very excited about the potential that Greeks for Good has. We truly believe that we’ll be able to address the key issues that are present within Greek philanthropy. In turn, we’ll create stronger fraternal organizations, stronger relationships with our causes, loyalty from our membership bases, a greater number of philanthropists and many opportunities to do good.

Remember Integrity?

Since becoming president of my chapter, I have witnessed many amazing things. I have also, however, witnessed many things that I wouldn’t consider to be amazing.

When taking the pledge to become a member of my fraternity I was well aware of the visions and values it represented. I was also aware that many of the members in my chapter didn’t always live up to those values. But, I was just a new member and didn’t feel comfortable speaking up. I knew things that were happening were wrong but I never did anything to change or challenge it.

I grew up in a small town where I was taught to always stand up for my beliefs and values. My parents taught me to speak up when something was wrong. This is why I loved my fraternity so much, or at least the values that it represented.

My fraternity stands on the values of Love and Respect. Okay, I know these words are very broad but I understand them as loving and showing respect to everyone no matter who they are.

By now, you may be asking, "I thought this blog was going to be about integrity." Exactly. My chapter, along with many others, has been lacking integrity with our fraternal values.

In my mind, integrity means being the same person Monday morning as the person you are Friday night. My best analogy of NOT having integrity is holding the door open for a woman but looking at her a** as she walks through. Yup, I said it.

Integrity means living up to your values no matter the situation or time of day. My chapter was great at portraying Love and Respect to sorority women when they would come into chapter meetings or when volunteering at a local nursing home, but they were not great at living up to their values ALL the time. I am just as guilty as the next person. Values congruence is extremely hard to do.

The point I am trying to make is that we, Greek students, are the leaders on campus. Whether we like it or not, we are always in the public eye. I am concerned with the integrity of Greek students. We portray ourselves as being these amazing citizens who do philanthropy work and study hard and get good grades, but we also don’t always live up to our values. Each one of our organizations has their own set of values they uphold. I encourage everyone to look deep inside ourselves and really think if we are doing all that we can to live up to those values. And, at all times - not just when we think people are watching.

This is why I ran for president of my chapter. I saw that things were not going as they should. I didn’t want to be a part of an organization that acted that way. Since quitting wasn’t the answer, I knew I had to foster the change that I wanted to see. This isn’t easy. I struggle every day with members who are not willing to change. My entire executive team has been working hard to support and live up to our values and hold members accountable when they aren’t. Over the past semester I have seen amazing growth in my brothers. Fraternities were created on the values of building better men. I can actually say that now my chapter is getting back to that mission.

None of us are anywhere near perfect, and I know we never will be, but I am simply asking for the Greek community to try and actually practice what they preach. Stand up for your values and don’t let others disrespect them. Have some integrity to stand up for what you believe in.

We all joined an organization for a reason; maybe it’s about time to actually find out what that reason is.

Guest blogger: Addison Ellis, AFLV Intern. Addison is a student at Colorado State University and is president of the CSU chapter of Alpha Tau Omega.

National Ritual Celebration Week

In one of the many conversations I’ve had with my father about his fraternity experience, he said this about his initiation ceremony from 1968: “I don’t really remember much. I couldn’t tell you what every symbol stands for, but I will never forget how incredible it felt.” I would bet the same goes for most fraternity and sorority members.

Every member has their own journey in understanding their Ritual, but we need to do more to incorporate how to translate the ceremony into daily lives. We know that values congruence is the key to fraternal relevance and we cannot talk about values without talking about Ritual. The juxtaposition of this is that because we take vows to “never reveal the secrets of the Fraternity,” many members are scared to talk openly about the concept.

The first time I read Edward M. King’s essay “Secret Thoughts of the Ritual,” my mind was officially blown. One of many parts of Mr. King’s essay that stands out is when he writes, “If non-members found out what I stood for, they might expect the members to live by it.” I find this to be the key to this conversation. We must balance the idea that certain ceremonies are secret but our values are not. While teaching this subject for a fraternal leadership experience, I converted some of the key messages from this essay in a video*, with the intention that members use it with their own chapters in reinforcing the importance of putting #valuesinaction.

Ritual Appreciation Week is a great time to reflect on your own journey about understanding your Ritual and how you incorporate those values into your life. It’s not the ceremonies that make us different than other organizations; it’s living those values for the rest of our lives that make us different.

Written by guest blogger, Cara Jenkins. This video was created by Cara to be used as an educational teaching tool. AFLV is sharing it with her permission.

Spider-Man on Being Thankful

The phrase, "With great power comes great responsibility" is most often attributed to Peter Parker's (more commonly known as Spider-Man) Uncle Ben. 

As a series of holidays approach us (Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, the winter solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year, and others) it's that time of year when most take a moment to reflect and find time to be grateful for what we have.

As fraternity and sorority members, we have a lot. Namely, enormous amounts of privilege. In fact, we are probably the most privileged people in the United States. We are [literally] the most affluent and educated people around. For this alone, we should be grateful. If you celebrate Thanksgiving, we hope you'll give thanks for this.

However, with this overwhelming privilege comes great responsibility. Privilege equates to power - and we should use it wisely and for doing good. As people, and more specifically as members of a fraternity or sorority, we're committed to making the world a better place. Social justice theory indicates those with privilege ought to acknowledge it and understand how it has benefitted them... and, furthermore,  take action to end the oppression of others. We agree.

Approximately 36% of American adults have earned a bachelor's degree. What do you suppose is the percentage of members of a fraternal organizations who have earned a bachelors degree? Basically it's 100%. This one is a bit of a softball since membership coincides with college enrollment and usually you have to graduate to become an alumna/us. Sure there are a few exceptions, but you get the idea.

What about further education? Studies vary, but most report approximately 7 or 8% of Americans have earned a master's degree and around 3% have earned a terminal degree (Ph.D., JD, MD, etc.). We don't  know the percentage of those graduates who are members of a fraternal organization, but we know it's a safe bet that it's impressive.

How are you using your education to help others and make the world a better place?

What about affluence? Which came first: the affluence or the affiliation? Although we think it's more likely the former, it can surely work both ways. We know that many members of fraternities and sororities have a foundation of privilege that others don't have. But, we also know we have networks and support structures that aide us in success after college graduation and throughout life. Maybe this means a sweeter first job (or simply a job in today's economy), a bigger raise, or a an invite to play golf with the boss (who's a sister in the bond). Sure, not all enter high-paying professions, but affluence doesn't only refer to financial wealth. It also includes social capital and, simply, access to resources.

How are you using your affluence and access to resources to help others and make the world a better place?

Maybe it's a bit heavy. Yes, privilege can sometimes feel like a gift and other times like a great burden. Ending homelessness or hunger is a giant feat to consider; it's scary to even think about such an undertaking, perhaps. But, when we consider the millions - yes millions - of affluent and educated fraternity men and sorority women in the world, it's actually reasonable. Think of a cause that's important to you. Think big.

Uncle Ben knew what he was talking about when he warned Peter about taking his new spider-like skills seriously. And, as a result, Spider-Man famously used his powers for good rather than evil.  

Are you?

The Price of Bystander Behavior: What We Can Learn from Penn State

No matter how you feel about the current allegations of perjury and misconduct by leadership in Happy Valley, one thing is clear:

You cannot afford to be a bystander, ever.  Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

We don't care if you're a freshman member of a fraternal organization or one of the winningest coaches of all time.  By joining a fraternal organization, you've made an unspoken pact to uphold its values 24/7.  And, there is a hefty price tag attached when you choose not to. 

Look at wide receiver coach Mike McQueary. Then a graduate assistant, he testified under oath that he saw an illegal and immoral act take place in the showers of the football building, yet the details of whether or not he did anything to stop it are unclear.  McQueary had an opportunity to put his #valuesinaction, and now, because his own words indicate he did nothing beyond telling his father and his professional superior, the quality of his character and validity of his career are called to question.

Based on what we know so far, even if Coach Joe Paterno may have done the right thing legally - it appears he didn't do the right thing morally.  When you choose to do act in a tough situation, you have to be sure you've done more than just enough, you must ensure you've done all you can with concern to both legal and values-based consequences.

By the way, Paterno is a member of a fraternity - so he is doubly obligated to act and follow-up, through both his fraternal oath and professional commitment.

Every time you avoid or lie about a situation in which your values have been compromised, plan on getting more than you bargained for.  If you're not particularly savvy with calculations, let us help you do the math.

Action	Cost
Avoid the Situation	$ Guilt $ Credibility $ Self Respect $ Integrity $ Lies to cover your inaction (See below)
Lie about the Situation	$ Multiply the above by four $ Respect/trust of others $ Value of your hard work and education to get where you are $ Ability to continue in your chosen profession or path $ Fear of being found out
Do the minimum required (legally or morally)	$ Others question your values commitment and ethics $ Being remembered by this choice, rather than your accomplishments $ Trust from those who formerly believed in you

If you're not acting to stop behavior that doesn't align with your values, or you are currently avoiding or covering something up because you're scared, ask yourself:

Is it worth it?

Consider Your Costume Themes... and not only on Halloween

If you go to college, work at a college/university, or know people who fit into either of these groups (that's pretty much everyone who might read this), you've probably seen this poster in circulation.

This call to be thoughtful in Halloween costume selection was initially made by a student group at Ohio University called Students Teaching About Racism in Society (STARS) and it's good. It's getting tons of national press for all the right reasons.

Today is Halloween and by now, most have already chosen their costumes if you're going to wear one. Yes, choose your costume thoughtfully. This is not new news.

What this poster made us think more about, however, is the fact that fraternity and sorority members have lots more opportunities to wear costumes than the average college student. For some reason, a culture has been established where party/event + costume/theme = AWESOME.

For the record, we love costumes. So much that we've considered the concept of 'costume Friday' instead of 'casual Friday' here at the office. Okay, that's not really true, but you get the picture. We're into dressing up.

To us, one of the larger conversations that needs to be tied to this campaign is this: what themes are you choosing for your chapter events where costumes are involved?

Let's think of a few popular ones:

Cowboys and Indians

Dressing up like 'Indians' (and, really, you probably shouldn't use that term in most areas of the U.S.) is not only offensive, it's almost always incorrect. The garb that American Indians wear for spiritual ceremony is sacred. No American Indian wears feathers and moccasins as their daily clothing. The wearing of feathers has deep spiritual meaning. For example, they might be worn by chiefs to symbolize their communication with the Spirit and to express their celestial wisdom.

Other themes that may offend a culture:

• Cinco de Mayo
• White Trash Bash (fraternity/sorority members are the most affluent college students in America - basically this is like saying "let's dress like poor people!" That's really not that funny.)
• Homeless Ball (see above)

Pimps 'N Ho's

Do you even know what a pimp is? Sure, the word has become casual slang and probably you're not using it literally when and if you do, but here's what's wrong with pimps. The pimp/ho relationship is abusive and possessive. Physical and psychological manipulation, starvation, rape (including gang rape), beating, forced drug use, and shame are all commonly used techniques to establish the culture that the pimp owns (literally) the prostitute. Prostitutes have sex with five, ten, twenty (or more) strangers a day, every day. Besides the sheer numbers involved, some of those strangers are going to use a person in ways that are bizarre, painful, disturbing, humiliating, and occasionally fatal. And, to boot, they don't even get to keep the money paid - it all goes to the pimp.

There are lots of renditions that are basically the same as Pimps 'N Ho's:

• Bro's 'N Ho's
• Catholic School Girl/Principal
• CEO's and Secretaries
• Playboy mansion
• Lingerie party
• Pajama party (It's not like you think the ladies will show up wearing bathrobes, fellas, we know what you're hoping for.)
• Dirty Doctors/Naughty Nurses

What do all these themes have in common? The woman is the slut. The men get to wear (basically) normal clothes and the women dress scantily clad. Any rendition that glorifies the dominant male and provocative female should be reconsidered. Ideally, because of the dangerous roles they perpetuate - but in the least because of this: lots of people stereotype fraternity and sorority members to be more promiscuous than the average college student - why purposefully perpetuate that stereotype?

Maybe we're overestimating your intellect. Maybe these themes aren't plays on power and sex. Maybe it's simply a group of adolescent men's efforts to get a whole slew of women to come over dressed in practically nothing. But, seriously how juvenile is that? If you have to have a slutty party theme to get to see a lady in her undies, that's your problem.

As you can see, we're not just talking about being politically correct, we're talking about some serious issues, folks. Sure, we get it, wearing a pimp costume doesn't mean you're actively advocating for sex trafficking and rape. But here's what it DOES mean: you're either ignorant to the issue or you know about it and simply don't give a damn. Either way, this spells out P-R-O-B-L-E-M.

Sorority ladies, sick of people saying you're a bunch of sluts? Fraternity men, sick of people assume you've committed a date rape? Besides the obvious - stop doing these types of actions (if you are). But also, consider stopping sexualizing your date parties, for starters.

Finally, if you're reading this and thinking, "that's an awesome theme idea! We're going to use it!" We have two reactions:

1. Get real
2. Don't

Like a Boss

This year, how about doing everything #likeaboss?

Personal:
Dean's List #likeaboss
Perfect class attendance #likeaboss
Eating right and staying in shape #likeaboss
Running for and winning elections #likeaboss
Healthy relationships #likeaboss

Chapter:
Winning national awards from headquarters #likeaboss
Largest recruitment ever #likeaboss
100% of new members initiated #likeaboss
#1 chapter in grades #likeaboss
Ongoing weekly community service #likeaboss
Zero alcohol at community service or philanthropic events #likeaboss
Largest amount of money raised and donated to philanthropy #likeaboss
100% dues collected #likeaboss
Regular, positive articles published about the chapter's positive impact #likeaboss
Zero hazing #likeaboss
Zero judicial sanctions #likeaboss
At least one brother/sisterhood event or retreat per term #likeaboss
Less than half of all chapter events have alcohol present #likeaboss

Community:
Getting rid of chapters that don't positively represent us #likeaboss
Expansion/extension of chapters to grow the community #likeaboss
Recognize outstanding faculty #likeaboss
Zero negative publicity or press #likeaboss
Regular events co-sponsored with non-Greeks #likeaboss
Multi-year strategic plan #likeaboss
Regular leadership development/educational events than the previous year #likeaboss
Applying for and winning ALFV council awards #likeaboss
Values congruence #likeaboss
Founders are proud #likeaboss