Let's Make 2014 the Year of the Member (Part 2)

So you read part 1 of "Let's Make 2014 the Year of the Member." Now you're ready to make your plan and implement programs that are about the member instead of checking off your box of stuff you have to do. Let's do it!

Making the plan

For each bullet point, checkbox, or requirement, go through the following steps:

1. Brainstorm ways to accomplish this task that will make members want to be a part of the process. Think about it in this mindset: What will make them want to attend? Will they find it valuable?
2. Decide on every step necessary to complete this task, write it down, and delegate tasks. What is EVERYTHING that needs to happen? When is the deadline for each step? Whose help is needed
3. Pick a person (or people if appropriate) to be responsible for each item. This individual will be held accountable by everyone to make sure things get done.
4. Repeat steps 1-3 for each requirement.
5. Be the best chapter or council anyone has ever seen.

Still confused?

Let’s try it with an example of a requirement for a chapter regarding philanthropy.

The chapter sponsors or co-sponsors at least two philanthropic projects per year with a chapter from another council.

1. Brainstorm ways that make members want to be part of your event. Once you get everyone together, try to consider events that most of your members will be interested in. Come up with something that people will not only attend, but will be excited to participate in and be a part of.
2. Pick a date, find a space, reserve any equipment needed. When does each part need to be completed, and who will complete them? These individual due dates should be written down and posted for everyone know.
3. Appoint a Leader. Who is responsible for it all? Ultimately, everyone should have some responsibility and should be holding each other accountable, but you should pick one individual to be the ringleader. If this is related to recruitment, the Recruitment Chair should probably be in charge. If you are working on a PR campaign, it might not be wise to have the Intramural Chair in charge.

Following this simple process for each step will set you up for success when you apply for your awards and fill out accreditation applications. Just remember: getting the binder filled is the easy part; the most important part is setting up your year around the members of your organization.

Oh, and make sure you turn your report in on time!

This guest blog is the second in a two-part series by Steve Backer. Steve is in his second year of graduate school studying Higher Education Administration at Southeast Missouri State University where he serves as the Graduate Assistant to Fraternities and Sororities. Connect with him on Twitter at @Stevewithaph. 

Let's Make 2014 the Year of the Member (Part 1)

There is a good chance your campus or headquarters (or both) requires large amounts of documents to ensure chapters are performing up to a required minimum standard. I would like to begin by saying that I am not suggesting your chapter throw that process out the window.

BUT if I were a betting man, I would bet your chapter spends more time making sure the minimum required attendance was met at the educational programs you put on than actually making sure the quality of that program was benefitting your members.

Look at the mission of your organization. Odds are, it is about making men better men or women better women. To prove this, I did a quick Google Search and the first ten organizations that popped up (belonging to a variety of different umbrella groups) have missions that serve their members, not their chapters. Not one that I looked up used the word “chapters.”  So why are you focusing so much on doing things for the chapter and not for the members?

Now you’re probably thinking, “If the chapter is strong, then the members will grow too.”

This is true only if you are making the chapter strong for the sake of the members it serves. If you are focusing on making your organization strong to check boxes off a list and not for the benefit of members, then you are not only skipping the best interest of members, but your constant emphasis on attendance at a crappy program is annoying people too.

So now what? 

We are all just getting back to campus and beginning to plan formals, brotherhood/sisterhood events, and community service. So when you are doing all this, let’s shift the focus from the “what” to the “who” and the “why.”  Once these become the central focus, you will not only be better serving the original vision of your founders, but you will also have happier members. And who doesn’t love when members are happy?

Making the plan

Most of you are planning some kind of retreat in the next couple of weeks that will consist of your exec board, the whole chapter, maybe some advisors, or whoever else has a stake in the group’s success. In the past, you probably used these minimum requirements to plan for your entire year, and you should. Don’t let your renewed focus put you in bad standing. This year, however, you are going to spend a little more time making sure that planning reflects the interests of your members. We'll tell you how in part two.

This guest blog is the first in a two-part series by Steve Backer. Steve is in his second year of graduate school studying Higher Education Administration at Southeast Missouri State University where he serves as the Graduate Assistant to Fraternities and Sororities. Connect with him on Twitter at @Stevewithaph. 

Hazing - It's Weird

We're totally serious on this one. As we talked about National Hazing Prevention Week in the office, we tried to be really deep and figure out why people haze. But as we talked about different hazing activities people partake in, we kept ending up at the same reaction:
"That's really freakin' weird."

A summary of our faces

Think about it though. Let's pretend we're explaining some of our activities to our parents. Let's even pretend our mom is not like a regular mom, but a cool mom.

Mom: What is the 4-1-1? What has everybody been up to? What's the hot gossip?
Hazer: Well, tonight we had a line up, so we made the pledges stand side-by-side. Then we all pointed out where each girl needs to tone up. It was really fun, and they appreciated the constructive criticism about their bodies. One girl even cried!
Mom: Wait ... what? Honey, I'm confused. That doesn't sound fun; it sounds weird and mean. Why would you want to look at all the pledges in their underwear?
Hazer: Well, she needed to prove she belonged. It's like, the rules.
Mom: But why would you pick her for a pledge if she has so many things to fix? Maybe you should do that whole rush thing better and pick girls you don't think you need to fix.
Hazer: Mom, go fix your hair.

Even if you had a cool mom, explaining some of the activities that chapters use to haze is hard to justify because it sounds kind of insane.

Even when we were trying to use common excuses like "they need to prove they belong," the activities just sounded weird. In what universe are line ups, pledge book signing, dressing in embarrassing costumes, or blindfolded quizzes considered normal behavior, let alone behaviors you could use to prove your worth? A recent Cosmo story of one woman's account of her experience being hazed has garnered attention for degrading women in general, but mostly because no one could look at these activities and call them normal by any standards.

Take a look around you this week. There are many great statistics and campaigns that tell the physical and psychological effect of hazing. There is also a lot of great info about what could happen to hazers since it's against the law in 44 states. But take a step back and look at hazing from a normal perspective: it's pretty weird.

Good Times are Consensual

We seriously never imagined the day when we would be giving a shoutout to Playboy for its perspective about sex. But the day is here, and we're all about Playboy's Top Ten Party Commandments for a Consensual Good Time.

As we've talked about before, many behaviors, attitudes, and words on college campuses across America are conducive to a rape culture. But as Playboy puts it, "Consent is all about everyone having a good time. Rape is only a good time if you’re a rapist. And f@¢# those people."

Why does this matter to you as a fraternity leader?

Let's think about the overall perception of fraternity men. There are a lot of uninformed people out there who think we're all rapists. But, just like the examples Playboy's list gives, there are many ways for men to stand against rape. 

Fraternity men at Northwest Missouri State University, the University of Iowa, Ohio University, Washington University in St. Louis, Wittenberg University, and countless other universities are leading the way in efforts like A Walk in Her Shoes and No Woman Left Behind.

In fact, a recent study finds fraternity men have lower levels of hyper-masculinity, a predictor of sexual aggression, than unaffiliated male students. We're not saying we're perfect by any means, but the current sexual assault education fraternities receive should serve as a catalyst for fraternity men to educate their entire campus communities.

Not sure where to start? There are plenty of creative ideas in Playboy's list, or you can look into national movements like Men Can Stop Rape and One Student.

If the Hef can take a stand for a consent, we're pretty sure you can, too.

Editor's note: We've recently discovered that this article is a hoax by the group FORCE: Upsetting Rape Culture and was not published by Playboy. But that does not detract from these great ideas, and the group's ideas are spot on.

The Truth About Millennials

As we near the end of graduation season, there's a lot of buzz about how Millennials handle the transition from college to the "real world." Joel Stein's TIME cover story and its accompanying online package - particularly the video of Stein living like a millennial - have been controversial, spurred many rebuttals, and sparked many conversations.

But consider this: Is he right?

The first half of Stein's story has blunt statements like "They are fame-obsessed," "They are lazy," "their development is stunted," and "they're cocky about their place in the world," which are all backed by data.

Obvi, none of these statements are positive. But here are the facts:

• More people ages 18 to 29 live with their parents than with a spouse.
• In 2007, three times as many middle school girls wanted to be a personal assistant to a famous person than a senator; four times as many chose the assistant job over CEO of a major corporation.
• People ages 18 to 29 in 2012 had less civic engagement and lower political participation than any previous group.

Many of you may be arguing "But that's not true! I'm not this way, and neither are my friends!" That's one of Stein's main points: it's not about you. 

We all know stereotypes are generalizations about groups of people, and that's exactly what Stein is doing. But since TIME is targeted at older Gen-Xers and Baby Boomers, he's trying to help older people understand Millennials as a whole.

If you keep reading while the smoke is blowing out of your ears, you can see that Stein talks about big culture changes like Millennials' propensity to innovate, try new things, and go after what they want. We also expect a flat organizational structure, need self-actualization more than money, rebel less, are more cautious, and are extremely optimistic.

So, how does this relate to fraternity/sorority life?

Think about your new members' expectations when they first join the chapter. With expectations of an accessible executive board, you will have to justify the decisions you make. Millennials rebel less because authority isn't just something they don't respect, it's something they don't acknowledge. More than ever, student leaders truly have to earn respect; members won't respect you based on title alone.

With our propensity to do new things, if you're in a culture that tolerates hazing or a disregard for risk management, this generation is going to be the catalyst to change it. Use your group of innovative members to make positive changes, harness our generation's disregard for the past, blaze that trail, and earn that legend status that Millennials crave.

P.S. Joel, while we can concede that you make many great points, stop trying to make "twixters" happen. It's not going to happen.

How to Make Your AFLV Conference Experience the Best EVER

As we come closer to the end of January, that means one thing here at AFLV--the start of conference season! We are so excited to be in Indianapolis in two short weeks for the Central Fraternal Leadership and National Black Greek Leadership Conference and just as excited as we look ahead to Costa Mesa in April for the West Fraternal Leadership and National Cultural Greek Leadership Conference.

As past participants of each conference and current staff members at AFLV, Branden Stewart, Coordinator of Volunteer and Member Engagement, and Monica Ceja, Coordinator of Marketing and Communication, have come up with their top 5 tips to help YOU maximize your conference experience!

Branden Says ...

Attending a Fraternal Leadership Conference was always the highlight of my undergraduate experience. Each year that I attended, I was able to meet and connect with hundreds of other leaders who were committed to their fraternal values and determined to make positive changes in their communities. Here are my tips to make the most of your experience!

1. Get out of bed in the morning. No, really. This is my number one tip, and trust me, I love to sleep. There are a TON of things happening all day while at the conference, and you can’t attend any of them if you're in bed. Hearing our expert keynote speakers, attending something during every educational program block, and constantly looking for new people to meet and new things to experience is crucial to having a worthwhile experience. GET OUT OF BED!
2. We've set some minimum standards, and our expectation is that you meet them. Really, nothing on that list is hard to follow. You’re attending the conference to become a better leader and help make your chapter, fraternal community, and campus stronger. Late and loud nights, hotel parties, and drugs have no place at an AFLV Fraternal Leadership Conference. Seriously, we're the Association of Fraternal Leadership & Values.
3. Our Awards & Assessment Process is a huge component of the Conference, and we spend the closing banquet honoring those councils that work tirelessly to be a model community. Check out the awards binders and talk with students from councils who apply. This is an amazing way to pick up new ideas for how to help your council work harder, better, faster, and stronger (cue the Kanye).
4. If you’re coming with a large delegation of students from your institution, the worst thing you can do is attend educational programs with your entire delegation. Your council and school sent YOU to bring back as much information and new ideas as possible. Come in with a plan of attack. How many different educational programs can your delegation attend during each time block? The more ideas you check out, the more you’ll have to bring home with you!
5. So you've heard a great idea for a program you want to bring back to your campus, but did you get the most crucial information you need to help make that program a success? That would be contact info! Make sure you get some digits, follow people on Twitter, or friend contacts on Facebook! The more contact info you gather, the more your network grows. 

Monica Says ...

The West Fraternal Leadership and National Cultural Greek Leadership Conference was one of the best leadership development opportunities I had as an undergraduate student. Sharing and learning new ideas with other committed leaders from across the country inspired me to do new, big things as a Panhellenic leader on my campus. Here's how I was able to make my conference awesome.

1. Participate in the many events at the conference! In addition to the educational sessions offered, participate in events like Ignite Fraternity, the Order of Omega Case Study Competition, or the Stroll Competition. These events are a great way to learn by doing and put your ideas into action!
2. Make sure you dress professionally. Nobody wants to talk to the guy that wore jeans as professional attire, the girl in provocative clothing, or the sloppy-looking person with wrinkled clothes. Look nice and make a strong impression. See our Pinterest board for help with what is and is not pin attire.
3. Attend all the meals included in the conference. Obvi, these meals are included in your registration, so attending them will make the best use of your funds. Additionally, this is a great chance to network and learn more about the different resources available from AFLV. And, the affiliation luncheon on Friday will seat you with your brothers or sisters from across the country which is always super fun!
4. Participate in the AFLV Silent Auction and the T-Shirt Auction! What could be more fun than coming home with new t-shirts and favors? Plus, the funds help students attend future conferences and leadership development opportunities. Bring some spending money and budget accordingly!
5. Have a wrap up meeting. We like the idea of debriefing at the end of each day, so you can keep track of what you learned and follow up when you get home. Don't forget to have a closing meeting on the way home or at your first meeting back so you can come up with a plan of action together!

We hope we were able to be helpful! For more tips, check out our January issue of The Bulletin and our Conference Tips board as we keep pinning, and we'll see YOU this spring!

Going to Convention this summer? Here are some tips.

I have been a fraternity man for a little over five years now.  I was heavily involved with my fraternity chapter during my undergraduate time, and participated in many student organizations such as student government and Interfraternity Council.  I attended various leadership programs and engaged in many community service opportunities.  As a graduate, I serve as an adviser for my undergraduate chapter, house director for my fraternity at graduate school, and co-contributor for the development of a new fraternity graduate chapter.  But what is missing from this list?  Attending my fraternity’s national convention.  Throughout my entire fraternal experience, I have not had the opportunity to attend one of these educational, inspiring events.

 

Am I jealous?  Oh, most definitely!  However, I thought I would offer some advice to those attending undergraduate members, from an outside perspective.  Whether you are a member of Phi Delta Theta traveling to Washington D.C. or a Delta Zeta traveling to San Antonio, here are few tips that hopefully guide and inform you while at convention:

1. Be absorbent – Soak in as much information as humanly possible!  If your brain literally aches from all of the active learning you have participated in creating or gathered, then you have successfully completed this goal.  Invigorate your mind with new ideas, remind yourself with already known information, and challenge your assumptions with different knowledge.
2. Be practical – So you learned all of these great things about what other chapters do at their schools and want to implement them within your chapter.  Now what?  Take a step back and evaluate if any of these idea are worth exploring.  Recognize the successes and limitations of your chapter and whether such an endeavor can flourish and be sustained within your chapter’s current state.
3. Be friendly – It can be very intimidating to see other members from your organization from across the nation, despite taking the same oaths during the same Ritual ceremony.  However, instead of leaning on fellow chapter members, or previously met members, challenge yourself to meet others.  Remove that cool cap, put on a smile, and be socially excellent (Shout out to Phired Up!).
4. Be congruent – The values congruence talk in conference settings is as a common as a pair of Sperry’s at a Greek social.  However, until all members of the entire national fraternal community walk the congruent walk, this topic will exist.  Of all the times and places in your collegiate career, make sure your espoused values align with your enacted actions.  It is a simple request; just do it!  

Make the time spent at your national convention an enlightening, transformational, and joyous occasion.  Remember why you joined your specific organization, what that organization has provided you, and how you can continue to give back to its cause.  Have a great national convention season, everyone!

Carson Lance is a guest blogger.  He is a second-year graduate student at Bowling Green State University and summer intern at the University of Louisville.

Summertime and Social Media

Ahhh summertime!

School is out and many of us are off to spend time with old friends, family, and catch some summer sun. Summertime is great for relaxing, reading, getting a part time job, traveling, and having FUN. While we are in school, it is easy to remember our fraternal membership and the way in which we must conduct ourselves online. We would not want pictures or posts from a night of fun ending up on a social media site and potentially getting ourselves or our own chapter in hot water. Rather, we have our fellow fraternity and sorority members keeping us in check and making sure we are accountable to what we post online. It is easy to forget that in the summer, we are still representing our organizations, even when we are not attending weekly chapter events.

Summertime gatherings in the backyard or on a trip can be very fun especially when friends come to share time with us. Taking photos and sharing them is definitely something typical at many social events. However, before posting photos or tagging others, decide if the photos represent yourself and your organization well. Also it might be polite to ask friends before posting certain photos if they want to posted or not. You never know what people want to have online of themselves. Perhaps when taking photos encouraging friends to set down drink containers, alcoholic or not, so all photos can be posted and show the fun being had without any misinterpretations of your summer bash. Summertime activities do not always involve parties and drinking but if they do, posting photos and comments about these gatherings should be treated the same way they would at any time during the school year. When posting other content on social media sites during the summer, ask yourself “Would I repeat this post or tweet to everyone in my chapter during chapter meeting? Does it reflect myself and my values?” This could help ensure summer events and thoughts don’t end up offending others. Additionally, summer time is truly the pre-recruitment season. You never know who is looking at your online content for information about your chapter, especially new students and their parents. Summer also is when many students hold internships and other jobs that can help build resumes and wallets. Summer employers who might have access to your online profiles could see things you post and might decide that your summer activities do not represent their business well. Though letters may not be physically worn during the summer, others know we are fraternity and sorority members and you cannot remove that identity. Be aware of what you post and who might see it. This may seem tedious, but a lack of caution can have negative consequences on yourself, your career, and your chapter. Summertime should be no exception.

Letting loose and have fun during the summer months is important to getting recharged for the fall. Making sure it is spent on activities and with friends who match our values is also important. There are so many great ways to have fun that also ensure we do not ruin our own reputation and that of our chapter and fraternity/sorority community. Being aware of our online presence during the school year is just as important in the Summer when we think less people are watching. We are always wearing our letters, even when school is not in session.

Guest blogger: Liz Rader is a graduate student at Bowling Green State University and a summer intern with AFLV.

What Our Communities Can Learn From The Avengers

Fraternities and sororities have a lot to learn from the blockbuster that grossed $200 million in its opening weekend. For those of you out there who think you are allergic to all things nerdy, put your Benadryl away and buckle up.

We’re not here to discuss green meatheads or gods of thunder, but the way the masterminds at Marvel Studios and Walt Disney Pictures persuaded a national audience to love characters most people who don’t own pocket protectors had no clue about five years ago. We’re talking about building brand familiarity. About cultivating trust.

So how did they do it? How did they take a few well known and several other obscure characters and weave an ensemble adventure even people who watch The View buy tickets to see?

Marvel blatantly rejected a model that many student affairs professionals, fraternity and sorority leaders, and alumni wield like Thor’s hammer. It’s a theory supported by Greek Weeks everywhere, by joint recruitment events and homecoming parades that present fraternities as a collective body of awesome. It’s the base assumption we’ve all made: Presenting a united front, a collaborative face to those who don’t know us, means they’ll see how cool we are.

Wake up, we’re wrong.

It’s important to remember that The Avengers, with its ensemble cast of geniuses, berserkers, primadonnas and egotists, was not the first movie ever launched with these characters. Before it, Marvel slowly and carefully introduced each character in their very own movie, one by one. Presented with the origin of a single character, we were able to carefully digest their flaws, insecurities, character, and strengths. We were confronted with both the good and bad, up close and personal.

And what effect did it have? We loved it. Even though we might resent the ego, the rage, and the recklessness, we saw vulnerability and humanity. We saw people doing the impossible because of belief. We saw the values that each character holds dear in a unique, intimate way.

And by the time Marvel decided to say, “Surprise! All of these heroes are part of a mega team,” we said, “Yes, please. That’s awesome.”

If you’re skeptical, ask yourself this: Do you find it easier to introduce yourself to a crowd or a single person?

We thought so.

Like Marvel, we need to realize that presenting a mix of semi-confused, sometimes values-driven or abrasive personalities to the masses all at once is confusing. How are they supposed to easily digest what we all stand for as a community when it takes tons of focus just to figure out what the heck one of us is talking about?

It all comes down to sharing the message of our founders in an intentional and meaningful way, without rushing into collaboration for its own sake. Instead of asking your entire community to reach out to all of non-Greeks at once, consider understanding the strengths each of your chapters and individual community members bring to the table.

Suggest that your members or organizations who get scholarship reach out to those in the community who are invested in it, such as faculty members, or parents. Delegate tasks like residence hall move-ins and meet-and-greets to those individuals who are warm, honest, and genuine. If a chapter doesn’t register for your Greek-wide service event where you partnered with other campus associations, don’t fret: You are better off without sending a confusing signal about our commitment to our community.

Basically, we’re saying let your Iron Mans, Black Widows, and Hulks do what they do bet best first, and then resolve to show how those individual strengths support one another.

Seniors: Give them a reason to stay involved

Mike, Alex, Paul, and Carlisle moved out of the chapter house last year after completing their two years of residence requirements and each serving in various positions in your fraternity as well as the All-Greek Council. They don’t come to the house much anymore, even for socials. You ran into them at the University Center and they said hi and went back to their conversations with some guys you recognize from another chapter on campus.

Xavier is doing an internship at a local nonprofit. Working there 15 hours a week and taking four classes is keeping him busy, not to mention studying for the GRE and managing his relationship with Vanessa. He approached you as chapter president that he’s going to have to step back from his responsibility as Vice President.

Maria just studied abroad in Brazil in the spring. Entering her senior year, she’s decided to add a minor of international studies. She hasn’t come to the first three chapter meetings, Saturday service project, or the beginning of the semester swap with Alpha Beta Gamma. You ran into her over the weekend at a local coffee house with some friends she had made through the study abroad program. She was nice to you but didn’t even ask about how things are going with the sorority.

These cases are not unique. They happen all the time in fraternity and sorority life: seniors start to disengage.  All types of fraternal organizations have the challenge of members who are looking ahead to graduation and life “in the real world.” This article addresses the causes of this disengagement and solutions to fixing it.

Reasons for Disengagement:

1. Beyond social: seniors have grown a lot over their time in the chapter. While they may have joined to create a group of peers with similar interests, they have now created those relationships, maintained those that matter to them, and are less interested in creating new friendships. The core of many fraternities and sororities is the social aspect and this is just less important for seniors. As the case with Mike, Alex, Paul, and Carlisle, they have chosen to socialize with those who are their friends and do so outside of the typical chapter provided experiences. 
2. Fraternity/Sorority takes a lot of work: and ultimately some who lead will need to lead for now and then move on. The case with Mike, Alex, Paul, and Carlisle is evidence that chapter leaders and those who meet the requirements of membership can possibly burn out or disconnect because they have already given so much. They may have an impression that they have “done their time” and now they can pass the torch to you and others (and likely feel confident that you will do good work). 
3. Priorities (appropriately) shift: Xavier is focused on preparing himself for life after college. His internship will help him make connections for a job and his classes are demanding. His relationship with a significant other is important to him and he’s considering life after college with this person. It makes sense that his time and energy is given to those things that he sees as part of his future. Even as organizations that have lifelong membership, the extent to which he sees his fraternity involvement continuing is much more questionable than the needs to find a job and manage a long-term relationship. 
4. Expanding worldviews: Maria is an example of someone who has expanded her perspective on the world through her study abroad experience. She is experiencing changing priorities and the same old activities, even if somewhat meaningful such as serving the community, just aren’t as important to her right now. While she once had meaningful relationships with others in the chapter, she is now spending time with those who have had the shared experience of studying together in another country. To some extent, this shouldn’t be a surprise: the kind of intense, shared experience that she had with others during study abroad could be likened to the intense shared experience she had during the new member education process.

It is natural for college students to develop over time; this is likely the most intense period of cognitive and affective growth you will experience. Priorities will change and to some extent disengagement shouldn’t be a surprise. However, there are ways to keep the fraternity/sorority experience meaningful for students even as other priorities emerge.

1. Develop shared expectations early and continually revisit over time. Members enter with an impression of what is necessary for them to have the experience they want. The chapter has certain standards it wants to uphold. Reconciling changing perceptions of individual and chapter expectations is vital to keeping members engaged at any time. It is pivotal to engage students BEFORE the senior year in a discussion about what it means to stay engaged at this point in their lives.
2. Shift the perspective of “all in” to “as much in as able.” Many fraternities and sororities, regardless of their size, expect members to be equally engaged in all aspects of the experience. It’s just not possible. T.J. Sullivan writes of “the middle” in his book and explains that sometimes “good enough” is all we can expect. For seniors, requiring fewer meetings, providing different educational experiences, and offering opportunities to connect with alumni/ae may be ways to keep them engaged.
3. Keep the mission and purpose of the organization forefront and center. The relevance of fraternities and sororities can be powerful: we’re organizations grounded in common values and a shared commitment to something. If seniors understand the importance of their contributions to these shared goals and can find ways to infuse the chapter into their lives at this important stage, then maybe they’ll maintain involvement.
4. Create rites of passage that respect seniors’ developmental needs. Maria has experienced a different culture. Coming back to talking about with whom you’re doing socials is not of importance. She wants to have conversations about her new interests. Host an event for those who study abroad, letting them tell their story and having other members share what it is about them that they missed while they were away. This rite of passage will help someone like Maria remember the friendships she had and help others understand how her perspective has changed.

Seniors disengage for a range of reasons; some within the control of the chapter and some are just a natural part of human development. This in mind, it’s important to recognize the reasons behind disengagement and what you can do to connect them to the organization in a way that meets their needs at this critical juncture in their lives

Written by guest author, Dan Bureau, Ph.D. Bureau has worked with fraternities and sororities for 16 years in a range of roles including campus professional, national volunteer and with CAMPUSPEAK and RISE Partnerships.

In a world of #hashtags

In a world where Facebook and Twitter rule our lives, it's sometimes hard to notice real stories even when they are right in front of our faces on our computer screens. Over the last few years, social media has changed the way we see our community, our friends, and ourselves. It has transformed the way we communicate and the way we keep in touch with everyone we know. But, in this world of social media, are we are beginning to lose touch of how we express ourselves?

Communication has turned from personal, face to face communication to email, texting, and Facebook, and Twitter. This that this is a bad thing... but, we need to consider the possibility that we lose some of our ability to express our feelings. Being limited to 140 characters or less might make a greater impact on how we communicate in "real life." When trying to express our feelings, do we think about how we feel or do we think about how it will come across on Facebook? When we want to express an opinion, do we spend more time thinking of a nifty hashtag rather than expressing how we actually feel?

While thumbing through Facebook recently, I began to think of how different our world would be if we didn’t have this kind of technology. I have heard so many people say that they would rather text than talk on the phone or they would rather write on someone’s Facebook wall instead of actually talking to them in person. I am guilty of this myself.

Are we simply scared of face to face communication?

Why is that? I think it's because we haven’t had the practice that past generations have had. When talking to someone in person, you don’t have time to think of your response. You cannot delete your thoughts mid sentence like you can when texting. We are forgetting how to communicate without preparation and approval by our minds.

This type of communication does have its perks though. We have the ability to think about our response before sending it. We have the opportunity to take time and breathe before making a situation worse. These are all great things.

But, what about the negatives? Personal communication has become a thing of the past. I know I get extremely nervous when talking to a professor face to face, but I have no problem shooting them an email. I can't image many people my age would disagree.

But here’s the kicker. You will not always have the opportunity to text or tweet or email someone. There comes a time when you have to put on a brave face and face reality that you need to be comfortable talking with someone. I personally believe that this is one of the biggest challenges our generation is facing.

Within our fraternal communities there is evidence left and right. Mass texts and emails have replaced personal responsibility to remember everything from chapter meetings to important events. Facebook groups have made it useless to stand up during chapter meeting and present the theme or ideas for the next social. Skype has ended the late night talks that use to take place in the common room. Chapter houses are completely different than how they use to be, which is extremely disheartening. The memories you are going to take away from this experience are the personal interactions you have with your brothers and sisters. So don’t get lost in your internet life at night, step out and have a deep conversation with someone.

Next time you are having a problem or need help try something new, pick up the phone and call someone or go see them in person. I’m sure it will make you feel a lot better and will be much more rewarding then sitting behind your computer screens or holding your cell phone.

Guest Blogger: Addison Ellis, AFLV Intern. Addison is a student at Colorado State University and is president of the CSU chapter of Alpha Tau Omega.

Why are women the only ones who care about scholarship?

Now that we have your attention...

In February, the National Panhellenic Conference (NPC) celebrates the "Month of the Scholar." But, obviously, scholarship is something that all college students - especially members of fraternities and sororities - care about, not just the women.

Or do they? It's pretty much known nowadays that college women outperform their male peers. There are more of them enrolled, they study more, they earn higher grades, and they graduate sooner. Yikes. If that hit you hard, consider this: men not only perform worse than women, they actually value college less and don't try as hard.

Men: are you still standing? If you are, you might want to sit down for this one. Some are actually suggesting that fraternities contribute to men's underperformance. Ouch.

So, what gives? Fraternities and sororities are supposed to enhance a member's academic experience. We know men aren't stupid. Statistically, they're actually better prepared for college than their lady friends. Yet, once they get here, they do worse. Why is that?

Here's the good news. Fraternal organizations are set up to support scholarship. Newsflash: our organizations were created around this concept. Members of fraternities and sororities have more support than most other college students. That's probably one reason why we outperform our non-Greek peers, but it's no excuse for not doing better still. Each chapter, council, and community has a network of support that includes advisors, volunteers, and alumni. Don't forget, there are also 10 to 200 other members of your chapter; all of these people can provide low performers the support they need to do better. And, to top it all off, you're all students - at a university. A school that has endless offices, departments, and professionals who get paid to help you succeed.

So, what gives?

To recognize the Month of the Scholar, the NPC is offering Academic Excellence: A Resource for College Panhellenics from their website. And, lo and behold, we've got a pretty useful Office Manual for your council's Scholarship or Academic Chairperson available. You should take a look.

We've said in previous blog posts that fraternity and sorority members are superior scholars to their non-affiliated peers. And, we still mean it. But, being better than others doesn't automatically mean you're good. Our organizations aim to teach and support us in becoming our personal best - not just better than others.

What is your organization doing to be the best group of scholars it can be? What you are doing do be the best scholar you can be personally?

Sh*t Sorority Girls Say

Yeah, we saw it. The "Sh*t [insert population here] Say" videos are widely popular - and mostly pretty hilarious. What we can't figure out is this: is it funny because it's true or funny because it's shocking? The sad reality is - probably both.

Sure, we know that all sorority girls don't wear pink button ups paired with leggings, boots, and pearls. But, we know you know some who do.

The things is, stereotypes are usually funny and shocking because there is some truth behind them. I mean, if the "Sh*t RAs Say" video had the line, "I hate living in the halls, creating community is the worst" no one would laugh... because that's not what RAs say. Sure, the words have been uttered from an RAs mouth, but - let's be honest - it's just not the norm.

It's not like these stereotypes are a surprise, however. So why do we get our feathers ruffled when someone says them? Of course, in the ideal world, the video sound more like this:

"I'm so excited because our chapter's cumulative GPA was a 3.5!"

"Our fundraising event raised $5,000 for the domestic violence shelter!"

"[on the phone] What time is the diversity workshop tonight? Yes, I'll be there. Hey, can I bring my roommate?"

Even if they kept the stereotypical sorority girl dialect that added "like," "totally," and "literally" all over the place, it would still be a better video - at least to us. I mean, riiiight?

Is this really what your campus colleagues think of you? If so, what are you doing to defy this stereotype? Sure, some stereotypes and images don't change no matter what we do, but there are lots of steps that can be taken to defy them.

Like, don't do them.

How do you act in public? What are you doing when you're wearing your letters? Are these actions congruent with your values or not?

And, men, don't think you're off the hook. Obviously there is a video about you, too. It's just not as popular.

Tombstone vs. Totino's

The winter issue of Connections is all about 365 recruitment. As I was editing one of the articles (written by David Stollman, Laurel Peffer, and Tom Healy) this morning, the following statement struck me:

" Most chapters don’t actually recruit. They just select."

Now, I'm no recruitment expert, but this also isn't my first rodeo. Yet, I've never heard the concept put quite like this. It made me think. Using the word 'selection' assumes that you have a line (high quantity) of smart, kind, values-based, and service-oriented (high quality) people standing outside your door just waiting to be let in. We're not betting people, but we think it's safe to bet that this happens to, approximately, 0% of you.

The authors later state, "There is a difference between selecting among people that show up, and actually recruiting people to be there. Putting up flyers or planning the events isn’t recruiting." Aaahhhh, touché. 

Selection

Selection is not how you recruit members for a lifetime of membership to your fraternal organization. Frankly, it's more like how you choose which type of frozen pizza to buy. Tombstone or Totino's? Clearly, Tombstone is the better choice, but it's so much more expensive. Most of us have to wait for it to go on sale before we can afford it. When it does, we fill our carts. Totino's, on the other hand, is cheap. Soooo cheap. No one really wants to eat it but when we're standing there looking at it, next to the expensive Tombstone's, it's too easy to justify the purchase in our minds. It's as if we think that it will taste different this time. It won't be as disgusting. But, sadly, we get it home, eat it, and think, "Nope, still disgusting. I should have splurged for the Tombstone... or just forgone the frozen pizza altogether."

Recruitment

Recruitment is intentional. It's planning ahead and opting not to make rash and stupid decisions you'll later regret. The concept of 365 recruitment works for lots of reasons, but one obvious one is that it doesn't limit the choosing of members to a specific time period.

It's kind of like budgeting. Back to the pizza. You know you like Tombstone . Therefore, every time you go to the grocery store, you check the price. If it's not on sale, you don't buy any. If it is on sale, you do. Even if you know you already have a few in your freezer at home. You'll know you'll eat them eventually. However, every once in a while, you've got a big craving so you splurge for just one, even if it's full price. It's that good and you can afford to do it every once in a while. This approach allows you to skip the Totino's totally. You've finally realized that just because you can get a bunch of them for cheap and fill your freezer with "food" doesn't mean you'll enjoy eating them when the time comes to do so. You know now that buying them is a facade; sure, you'll have a freezer full of pizzas, but they're disgusting.

Membership recruitment is similar. There is no way we're going to be exposed to every qualified potential member during the weeks of formal recruitment. We've got to be checking in on people all year long and invite them to join when the opportunity arises. If we simply try to frantically fill our chapters during the one or two weeks a year, we're just going to end up with too many sub-par members. Sure, we've got the largest chapter on campus - but look at the members.

Stollman, Peffer, and Healy's article has nothing to do with pizza, but it's a good read nonetheless. Surely after reading this, we've got you on the edge of your seat waiting for the issue to come out next month.

In the Land of What If...

Following is an excerpt from the acceptance speech given by Mark Koepsell, AFLV Executive Director, at the Annual Meeting of the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors this past Saturday evening. Mark was this year's recipient of the Jack L. Anson Award, one of the Association's highest honors. The Anson Award is presented annually to a well-respected individual not in the field of higher education, who has demonstrated a long-term commitment to the fraternity/sorority community beyond his/her respective organization. At the ceremony, Mark was congratulated for his partnerships with higher education and the interfraternal community, his efforts in making positive change to advance the fraternal movement, and his role modeling to students and professionals in fraternity/sorority life.

---

It's (my) collective (network) that inspires me. This huge network of individuals and organizations provides my fuel. And, it's from here I have gained the viewpoints and perspective that I have. Many of you have heard me speak on strategic planning, change management, and other general leadership topics. One thing that is always consistent in those presentations is my transparency about my love of a little place I like to call 'The Land of What If.' Just ask the AFLV staff and Board, I speak enthusiastically about visiting there in almost every conversation. Tonight I welcome you to join me in a quick journey to The Land of What If.

These comments are presented in the form of tweets. 140 characters or less providing a glimpse into The Land of What If. Sometimes there is as much power in the right question as there is in the answer. I'm not pretending to have all these answers, but I do believe the questions will at least get us thinking about where we need to go.

• #WHATIF we spent our undergraduate years preparing for a lifetime of membership in the org & didn't get initiated until we graduated?
• #WHATIF there actually was a minimum standard for members & chapters and real consequences for falling short? #greekchat
• #WHATIF all campus F/S award programs actually measured meaningful outcomes instead of rewarding the most creative writers?
• #WHATIF Fraternity/Sorority advisors weren't so often the youngest directors in the division of student affairs? #sachat
• #WHATIF the staff to student ratio for Greeks looked more like we find in most residence life programs on campuses? #sachat
• #WHATIF we didn't need an org like the @FraternalValues in our communities because 100% values alignment was already achieved?
• #WHATIF every chapter had the conviction, motivation, talent, and drive that we find in most colonies?
• #WHATIF new member education truly prepared men & women for a life of values based action? @preventhazing
• #WHATIF all F/S members valued making a positive global impact as much as they do the fun of brotherhood and sisterhood? #ServiceImmersion
• #WHATIF the money raised through F/S philanthropy all actually made its way to the advertised beneficiaries? #greekchat
• #WHATIF philanthropy wasn't so often a sorry excuse for another social event and members actually believed in the cause more than the path? 
• #WHATIF we had a better vehicle for grassroots fundraising and support of causes within the fraternal market? @GreeksForGood
• #WHATIF the behavioral expectations & enforcement were the same at the #AFA2011AM as they are at undergrad conferences? #CFLNBGLC #WFLNCGLC
• #WHATIF F/S professionals stopped prioritizing their largest efforts into Greek Week, Homecoming, and Formal Recruitment? #greekchat
• #WHATIF Headquarters and campuses agreed that what matters most is building an environment that supports the + development of our students?
• #WHATIF there were grants available to help individuals & orgs focus on efforts that can make a real difference in the fraternal world?
• #WHATIF we built a system that allowed House Directors to play a valuable role as support mechanisms and paraprofessionals?
• #WHATIF all our chapters could prove that membership would positively impact retention and GPA? #GammaSigmaAlpha #OrderofOmega
• #WHATIF professionals didn't see F/S advising as an entry-level job or stepping stone to something "more important"?
• #WHATIF universities valued the profession at a level where there was upward movement available without leaving the field?
• #WHATIF F/S professionals  spent more time creating sustainable change & less time in stupid meetings talking about it?
• #WHATIF we worried less about who is "taking over the world" and focused more on who is "getting good things done"?
• #WHATIF Fraternities/Sororities could PROVE their worth to higher education at a level where they were begging for more? #FraternalRelevance
• #WHATIF F/S professionals were more actively engaged in the higher education arena? (That means IN ADDITION to fraternal matters) #sachat
• #WHATIF F/S professionals were conducting more research and assessment to better illustrate the validity and worth of the experience?
• #WHATIF our chapters were known as places of tolerance & acceptance as opposed to exclusivity & petri dishes for the 'isms' that plague us?
• #WHATIF we had less fewer silos & more orgs working collaboratively to create F/S that are the most trusted orgs of integrity and ethics?
• #WHATIFI actually felt comfortable that my daughters could join ANY sorority chapter & enjoy a developmentally rewarding experience?
• #WHATIF all of our members understood that true leadership exists in doing the right thing and isn't related to power or position?
• #WHATIF we spent more time figuring out how to effectively recruit & support alum volunteers as coaches & mentors?
• #WHATIF we provided tools to every member to step up in the face of controversy & ridicule for the pursuit of values? @FraternalValues
• #WHATIF it were nearly impossible to win the Shaffer or Anson Award until the twilight of your career? #dontthinkimnotgrateful
• #WHATIF every F/S community & office was inclusive & supportive of EVERY org that we represent? #NALFO #NAPA #NPHC #NMGC
• #WHATIF all fraternities created a culture of respect for women instead of a den of hyper-masculine attitudes & behaviors?
• #WHATIF alcohol didn't have a place in our houses were a majority of members are underage anyway? @PhiDelt #substancefreehousing
• #WHATIF the only thing synonymous with 'frat move' equaled actions that are the highest in character and values? @Combat_Frat
• My quest is not only to dream of the land of #WHATIF but to find the path to get there. Do you want to be part of that journey? #LandOfWhatIf

Thank you again for bestowing this incredible honor onto me. Thank you for providing me the opportunity to work in a field where I find such passion, commitment, and dedication by those around me. Thank you for allowing me to do what I love every day.

------

And, we think we can speak for everyone in thanking Mark for working to make our fraternal world a better place.

Spider-Man on Being Thankful

The phrase, "With great power comes great responsibility" is most often attributed to Peter Parker's (more commonly known as Spider-Man) Uncle Ben. 

As a series of holidays approach us (Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, the winter solstice, Christmas, Kwanzaa, New Year, and others) it's that time of year when most take a moment to reflect and find time to be grateful for what we have.

As fraternity and sorority members, we have a lot. Namely, enormous amounts of privilege. In fact, we are probably the most privileged people in the United States. We are [literally] the most affluent and educated people around. For this alone, we should be grateful. If you celebrate Thanksgiving, we hope you'll give thanks for this.

However, with this overwhelming privilege comes great responsibility. Privilege equates to power - and we should use it wisely and for doing good. As people, and more specifically as members of a fraternity or sorority, we're committed to making the world a better place. Social justice theory indicates those with privilege ought to acknowledge it and understand how it has benefitted them... and, furthermore,  take action to end the oppression of others. We agree.

Approximately 36% of American adults have earned a bachelor's degree. What do you suppose is the percentage of members of a fraternal organizations who have earned a bachelors degree? Basically it's 100%. This one is a bit of a softball since membership coincides with college enrollment and usually you have to graduate to become an alumna/us. Sure there are a few exceptions, but you get the idea.

What about further education? Studies vary, but most report approximately 7 or 8% of Americans have earned a master's degree and around 3% have earned a terminal degree (Ph.D., JD, MD, etc.). We don't  know the percentage of those graduates who are members of a fraternal organization, but we know it's a safe bet that it's impressive.

How are you using your education to help others and make the world a better place?

What about affluence? Which came first: the affluence or the affiliation? Although we think it's more likely the former, it can surely work both ways. We know that many members of fraternities and sororities have a foundation of privilege that others don't have. But, we also know we have networks and support structures that aide us in success after college graduation and throughout life. Maybe this means a sweeter first job (or simply a job in today's economy), a bigger raise, or a an invite to play golf with the boss (who's a sister in the bond). Sure, not all enter high-paying professions, but affluence doesn't only refer to financial wealth. It also includes social capital and, simply, access to resources.

How are you using your affluence and access to resources to help others and make the world a better place?

Maybe it's a bit heavy. Yes, privilege can sometimes feel like a gift and other times like a great burden. Ending homelessness or hunger is a giant feat to consider; it's scary to even think about such an undertaking, perhaps. But, when we consider the millions - yes millions - of affluent and educated fraternity men and sorority women in the world, it's actually reasonable. Think of a cause that's important to you. Think big.

Uncle Ben knew what he was talking about when he warned Peter about taking his new spider-like skills seriously. And, as a result, Spider-Man famously used his powers for good rather than evil.  

Are you?

The Price of Bystander Behavior: What We Can Learn from Penn State

No matter how you feel about the current allegations of perjury and misconduct by leadership in Happy Valley, one thing is clear:

You cannot afford to be a bystander, ever.  Not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

We don't care if you're a freshman member of a fraternal organization or one of the winningest coaches of all time.  By joining a fraternal organization, you've made an unspoken pact to uphold its values 24/7.  And, there is a hefty price tag attached when you choose not to. 

Look at wide receiver coach Mike McQueary. Then a graduate assistant, he testified under oath that he saw an illegal and immoral act take place in the showers of the football building, yet the details of whether or not he did anything to stop it are unclear.  McQueary had an opportunity to put his #valuesinaction, and now, because his own words indicate he did nothing beyond telling his father and his professional superior, the quality of his character and validity of his career are called to question.

Based on what we know so far, even if Coach Joe Paterno may have done the right thing legally - it appears he didn't do the right thing morally.  When you choose to do act in a tough situation, you have to be sure you've done more than just enough, you must ensure you've done all you can with concern to both legal and values-based consequences.

By the way, Paterno is a member of a fraternity - so he is doubly obligated to act and follow-up, through both his fraternal oath and professional commitment.

Every time you avoid or lie about a situation in which your values have been compromised, plan on getting more than you bargained for.  If you're not particularly savvy with calculations, let us help you do the math.

Action	Cost
Avoid the Situation	$ Guilt $ Credibility $ Self Respect $ Integrity $ Lies to cover your inaction (See below)
Lie about the Situation	$ Multiply the above by four $ Respect/trust of others $ Value of your hard work and education to get where you are $ Ability to continue in your chosen profession or path $ Fear of being found out
Do the minimum required (legally or morally)	$ Others question your values commitment and ethics $ Being remembered by this choice, rather than your accomplishments $ Trust from those who formerly believed in you

If you're not acting to stop behavior that doesn't align with your values, or you are currently avoiding or covering something up because you're scared, ask yourself:

Is it worth it?