Divergent: Just like recruitment and our new member processes?

For those of you not in the Divergent loop (don’t worry, half of us weren't either), the plot of the movie centers around a society broken into five factions:

• Abnegation (selfless)
• Erudite (intelligent)
• Amity (peaceful)
• Candor (honest)
• Dauntless (brave)

Following the results of a special test, teenagers are forced to make a binding decision of which faction they want to join. Should they follow their test results, which are meant to tell them the faction they fit into best? If they disagree with their test results, should they follow their hearts and choose their own factions? What about those who fit into multiple factions? Those folks are Divergent and are meant to be eradicated, as they cannot be controlled or manipulated by the government that put the faction system in place.

Choosing a faction is strikingly similar to recruitment and intake processes held annually year (the factions names are even in a different language!). Once you join, it is rare (if not impossible) to leave the organization to join another group that fits your needs better. Based on limited interaction, information, and experiences, thousands of college students each year make a lifelong decision to join a group they ultimately know very little about. Many students feel like they could fit into one or more groups and choose their fraternity or sorority based on superficial reasons like a group’s colors or social status.

Take what happens after Divergent’s protagonist Tris chooses to join the Dauntless faction following her divergent test results. She leaves the choosing ceremony with all of the new Dauntless initiates and is forced to jump off moving trains onto high buildings and off high buildings into an unknown abyss. It is immediately clear that Tris wasn't necessarily meant to be part of Dauntless, but her instructor works to help her fit in and stay alive. Those who fall to the bottom of the initiate class in Dauntless are cast away to become “factionless”: jobless, homeless, and ultimately forever at the bottom of the food chain. “Faction before blood” is the motto of the society (seriously), meaning those who leave their families for a new faction are cut off from their family and former lives, even if they are ultimately not accepted by their newly chosen faction.

They weren't this "frat" before recruitment.

Countless fraternities and sororities follow this method of bringing in their new members. They tell potential members just enough during the recruitment and intake process to make the organization seem appealing, but the moment someone becomes a new member the truth comes out. New members are oftentimes subjected to strenuous physical and mental tests. They need to change their wardrobes, interests, and friends to fit into the mold of the organization they joined. Being outside of the fraternity/ sorority community is for outcasts, and befriending members of other fraternities and sororities can be frowned upon if they’re not in the “right” fraternity/sorority.

This is the antithesis of the experiences relevant fraternities and sororities should be providing to their members. Recruitment or intake should be a time where the real membership experience is conveyed to members. By the end of the recruitment period, interested students shouldn't feel conflicted or nervous that they will not fit in. New member processes should be about building brotherhood and sisterhood through positive interactions and mutual learning. Fraternity/ sorority communities should be united together and with the greater campus community, forming positive and impactful relationships.

“Divergent” potential members possess many great skills and qualities that would make them a valuable asset to any organization. How can you improve your chapter and campus operations to be less like the society in Divergent, and more like the relevant fraternity/community new members deserve?

Once Upon an Orientation

Why did you join a fraternity? What does your sorority do anyway? Do you feel like you paid for your friends?

New student orientation: a time of excitement for campuses across the country AND an opportunity to share the benefits of fraternity and sorority membership. You remember the feelings during orientation—a million things to do, tons of questions, and a mix of excitement and anxiety over every little thing. So how do you help the fraternity and sorority experience rise to the top?

Storytelling.

We’re not talking about the campfire stories or library hour gatherings. We want you to tell YOUR story. Knowing how to share your story in a succinct and compelling way instead of throwing around faceless facts will help connect sisterhood and brotherhood to potential members who could see themselves in your shoes.

One of our biggest failures in explaining fraternity and sorority life to others is this belief that brotherhood and sisterhood are impossible to explain. As leaders who have invested a lot of time and energy into our organizations, it can be difficult to break it down to the basics. Stories—your personal lived experiences—are what can connect others.

Jim Blasingame, host of the Small Business Advocate, offers the Three C’s of Storytelling: Connect, Convey, and Create. We've broken it down for you here in our new resource that you can use with your chapter, council, recruitment counselors, or even yourself!

People are moved by emotions, and throwing a bunch of facts out there is hardly effective when you could relay an experience so compelling the listener HAS to learn more. Your goal is to move a person to action, not to be a walking Google search result.

You may have 60 seconds with a potential member during an orientation session or a new student block party. Are you going to spend it spouting out statistics about GPA and intramural championships, or are you going to spend those precious seconds to tell a story worth repeating?

That's what we thought. Now go out there and share YOUR story.

Sh*t Sorority Girls Say

Yeah, we saw it. The "Sh*t [insert population here] Say" videos are widely popular - and mostly pretty hilarious. What we can't figure out is this: is it funny because it's true or funny because it's shocking? The sad reality is - probably both.

Sure, we know that all sorority girls don't wear pink button ups paired with leggings, boots, and pearls. But, we know you know some who do.

The things is, stereotypes are usually funny and shocking because there is some truth behind them. I mean, if the "Sh*t RAs Say" video had the line, "I hate living in the halls, creating community is the worst" no one would laugh... because that's not what RAs say. Sure, the words have been uttered from an RAs mouth, but - let's be honest - it's just not the norm.

It's not like these stereotypes are a surprise, however. So why do we get our feathers ruffled when someone says them? Of course, in the ideal world, the video sound more like this:

"I'm so excited because our chapter's cumulative GPA was a 3.5!"

"Our fundraising event raised $5,000 for the domestic violence shelter!"

"[on the phone] What time is the diversity workshop tonight? Yes, I'll be there. Hey, can I bring my roommate?"

Even if they kept the stereotypical sorority girl dialect that added "like," "totally," and "literally" all over the place, it would still be a better video - at least to us. I mean, riiiight?

Is this really what your campus colleagues think of you? If so, what are you doing to defy this stereotype? Sure, some stereotypes and images don't change no matter what we do, but there are lots of steps that can be taken to defy them.

Like, don't do them.

How do you act in public? What are you doing when you're wearing your letters? Are these actions congruent with your values or not?

And, men, don't think you're off the hook. Obviously there is a video about you, too. It's just not as popular.

Fraternal Life: Not an Ad Campaign

I don't think Siri even knows what a fraternity or sorority is. I find this hard to believe since she knows everything - including how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if it could chuck wood. We asked Siri, "what are fraternal values?" and she had nothing. When we asked why she had nothing, she referred us to the Genius Bar folks. We felt snubbed. She couldn't even think of something witty to say.

So, we got to thinking. Why doesn't Siri know more about fraternal organizations?

Maybe it's good sign. Maybe the fact that she didn't respond with something horribly cruel, stereotypical, or Animal Housey should make us happy. 

Or, maybe she's just practicing the age old adage "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."

Well, now we're just paranoid.

All of this begs the same question that has been asked a thousand times: what do the non affiliated think of us (we're making the safe assumption that Siri isn't a sorority woman)? But, more importantly, how are we earning our reputations? Far too often, fraternity and sorority members talk about PR from the viewpoint of wanting to pick and choose a few good things they've done in order to guide and control how the rest of the world views them. For example, we create a press release about the $2,000 raised at last week's philanthropic event and want the world to read it with awe but get pissed when people talk about us when we get busted for hazing.

In order to have a good reputation, a few things need to happen. First, you have to actually do good things. Second, you have to actually be a nice person. Third, you have to do good things and be a nice person consistently - and not just for show. We have little tolerance for fraternity and sorority members who say stupid things like "people only know us for the bad things we do." Um, the problem isn't that people only know about the bad things, the problem is we're doing the bad things.

Okay, blah blah blah, you've heard this before. But, here's a spin you might not have heard before: flaunting that aforementioned $2,000 kind of makes the whole fundraising action a little less authentic - if we may be so bold. The best leaders tend to let their actions speak for them; they don't run around shouting, "Hey, everyone! Come see how good I look!"

We can't pick and choose what people know about us. We can't advertise the good stuff and hide the bad stuff. Worse even, we can't do the good stuff to make up for the bad stuff. I mean, Lindsay Lohan can say she's a stable and reliable adult a million times but no one is ever going to believe her if she keeps acting like a head case all over the place. Call it JV, call it Gaper Greek, call it whatever, you get the idea.

So, Siri doesn't know who we are. Fine. We can wrap our brains around that. We shouldn't need Siri - or the rest of the population - to tell us we're great to know that we are. We'll let our actions speak for us.

#GaperGreeks

Wolf Creek ski area in Pagosa Springs, Colorado opened this weekend. One of the first ski areas (and THE first in Colorado) in the United States to open this season. Ski and snowboard season has begun, folks.

If you ski or ride, we assume you've heard the term 'gaper.' If you don't ski or ride, we think it's safe to assume you've heard of the Urban Dictionary. According to Urban Dictionary, a gaper is a skier or snowboarder who is completely clueless. They are usually distinguished by their clothing and their oh-so-noticeable "gaper gap" - a gap between the goggles and the helmet (or worse, they're not even wearing a helmet). Urban Dictionary states, "[gapers] will sit on their ass for a good 5-10 minutes talking about what they're going to do off that "jump" or "rail" while everyone behind them goes before them and they stare with their mouth gaped open." Gapers go up lifts that only access black runs but look like fools trying to get down them. Basically, gapers are posers. They *kind of* have the right outfit on the mountain and talk like they can ski/ride but they pretty much suck at it.  So, they just sit in the snow and talk in skier/rider lingo and annoy all the people who are actually there to fine tune their turns.

Gapers think they're cool, but to the people who are actually know how to ski/ride, they suck. They spend thousands of dollars on passes and gear to just sit around and make the rest of us look bad. Gapers are just there for the image - and for the beer drinking that follows their difficult day of skiing/riding - I mean gaping.

Yesterday I was at the grocery store and saw a group of five or six fraternity men outside collecting food for a campus food drive. I don't know what the other unpresuming grocery patrons were thinking, but I was thinking, "blech" and curling my lip and rolling my eyes while thinking it.

What?! You're surprised! You thought I loved fraternities and sororities! Well, I do.

I might love fraternities and sororities, but here's what I hate: Gaper Greeks.

These men were wearing the perfect outfit: clean sweatshirts with letters, well tailored jeans, preppy-but-but-not-too-preppy running shoes, and they were all standing next to their new and freshly washed typical Colorado extended cab pickup truck. Plus, the chapter clearly chose their perfect match of handsome-but-not-too-sexy group of men to represent them at the grocery store. Don't they look like nice young men collecting food for the food bank?

Sure they do, but I knew they were #GaperGreeks so they made me gag. This is the same chapter that is constantly getting busted for drugs and alcohol at events in their chapter house. Oh, wait, their "chapter house" isn't even an actual house - it's basically two third-world-looking run down shacks next door to each other. There are three foot weeds in the yard and - literally - there are boarded up windows. Yes, these clean cut classy men *live* here and ladies enjoy going to their parties. Rumors of sex assault swarm and let's just say, if I wanted to buy an eight ball I think this would be a good place to look. Oh, and did I mention, they're not even recognized by IFC due to their repetitive bad behavior.

Yuck, #GaperGreeks.

Gaper Greeks are all talk, they sit around and talk about fraternity and *think* they know what that means and feels like. They don't. They're not there to actually fine tune their leadership skills and practice their fraternal values - they're only there for the beer drinking.

While these #GaperGreeks were  flaunting their Greek at the grocery store, a man from another chapter (of non-GaperGreeks) humbly came to my door with a grocery bag to collect food for the same drive. He introduced himself, told me about his fraternity, and asked if I would donate food. Get this, he left the bag with me and said he would pick it up the next day if I left it on my doorstep. Um, these guys were actually doing work - and they chose to do the same task without parading themselves around. They just wanted to collect food and were seemingly uninterested in promoting their chapter in some inauthentic way. This guy wasn't even wearing letters.

The problem with gapers - of any kind - is that the majority of the population thinks they fit into our non-gaper group. They say things like "Ugh, I hate snowboarders because they just sit on the hill and get in the way of the skiers." Um, not true! If you actually know a snowboarder - who's not a gaper - you know they can rock the back bowls and the T-bar lifts as well as any good skier can. It's the gapers who are on the front side just planting their asses under the lift - and the rest of us don't like being associated with them.

The same goes for fraternity/sorority members: many people think all fraternity/sorority members are huge partiers. We're poor students and don't enhance our college/university whatsoever. Not true, those are the #GaperGreeks you're talking about. Like the gapers on the mountain who stand out because of their bright-colored clothing and the fact they're always in your way, #GaperGreeks, steal the spotlight with their substance abuse and hazing. You don't see the non-gapers on the mountain because we're in the back bowls - away from the crowds and not calling attention to ourselves. We actually want to spend our day skiing/riding. Similarly, the non-gaper Greeks continue to plug away with community service, building relationships, developing leaders, and succeeding in school.

The problem is, gapers do actually fool people. But, the only people they're fooling are the tourists and the novices - those people who only get out to ski/ride a few times a year. Unfortunately, this is about 90% of the people on the hill. Same with #GaperGreeks - you might be fooling lots of people, but you're not fooling those of us who matter - the ones who are members of a fraternity/sorority for the values.

We're onto you, #GaperGreeks. We can spot you from a mile away. And, while you might be feeling proud and smug about fooling 90% of the people who came to the grocery store that day into thinking your fraternity is a group of classy guys who does philanthropy, you'd be arrogant to forget about the 10% of people who saw for what you really are: a #GaperGreek.

Like a Boss

This year, how about doing everything #likeaboss?

Personal:
Dean's List #likeaboss
Perfect class attendance #likeaboss
Eating right and staying in shape #likeaboss
Running for and winning elections #likeaboss
Healthy relationships #likeaboss

Chapter:
Winning national awards from headquarters #likeaboss
Largest recruitment ever #likeaboss
100% of new members initiated #likeaboss
#1 chapter in grades #likeaboss
Ongoing weekly community service #likeaboss
Zero alcohol at community service or philanthropic events #likeaboss
Largest amount of money raised and donated to philanthropy #likeaboss
100% dues collected #likeaboss
Regular, positive articles published about the chapter's positive impact #likeaboss
Zero hazing #likeaboss
Zero judicial sanctions #likeaboss
At least one brother/sisterhood event or retreat per term #likeaboss
Less than half of all chapter events have alcohol present #likeaboss

Community:
Getting rid of chapters that don't positively represent us #likeaboss
Expansion/extension of chapters to grow the community #likeaboss
Recognize outstanding faculty #likeaboss
Zero negative publicity or press #likeaboss
Regular events co-sponsored with non-Greeks #likeaboss
Multi-year strategic plan #likeaboss
Regular leadership development/educational events than the previous year #likeaboss
Applying for and winning ALFV council awards #likeaboss
Values congruence #likeaboss
Founders are proud #likeaboss