Hazing - It's Weird

We're totally serious on this one. As we talked about National Hazing Prevention Week in the office, we tried to be really deep and figure out why people haze. But as we talked about different hazing activities people partake in, we kept ending up at the same reaction:
"That's really freakin' weird."

A summary of our faces

Think about it though. Let's pretend we're explaining some of our activities to our parents. Let's even pretend our mom is not like a regular mom, but a cool mom.

Mom: What is the 4-1-1? What has everybody been up to? What's the hot gossip?
Hazer: Well, tonight we had a line up, so we made the pledges stand side-by-side. Then we all pointed out where each girl needs to tone up. It was really fun, and they appreciated the constructive criticism about their bodies. One girl even cried!
Mom: Wait ... what? Honey, I'm confused. That doesn't sound fun; it sounds weird and mean. Why would you want to look at all the pledges in their underwear?
Hazer: Well, she needed to prove she belonged. It's like, the rules.
Mom: But why would you pick her for a pledge if she has so many things to fix? Maybe you should do that whole rush thing better and pick girls you don't think you need to fix.
Hazer: Mom, go fix your hair.

Even if you had a cool mom, explaining some of the activities that chapters use to haze is hard to justify because it sounds kind of insane.

Even when we were trying to use common excuses like "they need to prove they belong," the activities just sounded weird. In what universe are line ups, pledge book signing, dressing in embarrassing costumes, or blindfolded quizzes considered normal behavior, let alone behaviors you could use to prove your worth? A recent Cosmo story of one woman's account of her experience being hazed has garnered attention for degrading women in general, but mostly because no one could look at these activities and call them normal by any standards.

Take a look around you this week. There are many great statistics and campaigns that tell the physical and psychological effect of hazing. There is also a lot of great info about what could happen to hazers since it's against the law in 44 states. But take a step back and look at hazing from a normal perspective: it's pretty weird.

Hashtags Gone Wrong

No, it's not a post about being smart on social media. Y'all are smart enough to know that anyone can take a picture of or screen shot anything and ruin your life (imagine what Regina George could do with Instagram).

It's about a certain hashtag we've seen trending in a negative way - #womancrushwednesday or #wcw.

We're not knocking any of the good fun that individuals that want to show their friend who they think is attractive or a celebrity crush.

The disturbing trend we have seen are fraternity chapters using their Facebook pages, Twitter accounts, or Instagram accounts to declare a woman as the chapter's Woman Crush Wednesday and talk about how hot she is.

Now let's think about the fact that these chapters are totally objectifying a woman. Think about the word "object" - you're treating someone as a thing to be looked at, analyzed, and talked about instead of like a person. It's not hard to see how this is negative.

Like, what is positive about treating people like objects? How does that match up with many fraternities' creeds that involve things like "making better men" or "being true gentlemen?"

We're not trying to pick on men. Women, the economic juggernaut that was Magic Mike and the pursuit of the M.R.S. do not make you innocent. While we don't see this trend going on with our sororities and #mancrushmonday, women are still guilty of objectifying men for their money, bodies, and status. That's also not congruent with your values of building "strong women" or striving for things that are noble, honorable, or any other words your particular motto may use.

So, here's the deal: while you make think this is funny or you truly think you're flattering someone, mayyybe you should look at the consequences and perceptions of what you're putting out there.

1. The rest of the community now thinks we're not a welcoming environment for our GLBTQ friends, brothers, and sisters. 
2. Since you're not in high school, we should act like adults and stop judging people based on their attractiveness, money, or popularity. 
3. That's not how things work in the real world. First impressions only go so far. In reality, people are judged on their actual skills, character, and personality.

So there's your grownup lesson for the day. We look forward to calling you out if you continue to make us all look bad.

Is Your Party Racist? Because These Are

Well, if you've been paying attention to the news this week, you've likely seen this story.

While the Nu Gamma chapter of Chi Omega at Penn State has made the news this week, this is a much larger problem. We're really tired of reading stories like this, this, and this.

Seriously though, haven't you gotten the memo by now that these parties are offensive?

However, we're thinking we shouldn't be so angry right away. The more important question is do you understand why these parties are offensive?

• By throwing these parties where guests show up in stereotypical garb, you are reducing entire cultures and groups of people into a caricature.
• It's pretty basic. By making other cultures into what you think is a joke, you're basically saying you're better than them. We can't think of anything more condescending and arrogant.
• As members of values-based organizations, we talk a lot about how our fraternities and sororities make us better people. How are these parties congruent with that at all?

If you are having trouble with this issue, reach out. Your Multicultural Affairs office on campus is more than happy to help you understand how this is not inclusive. We have some different resources here, here, and in our Summer 2012 issue of Connections, as well.

So stop being racist. It's not cool, bro.

Values-Based? Or Just Hypocrites?

“We are hard pressed to find a setting where the risk of an alcohol related injury is more likely than from underage drinking at a university fraternity party the first week of the new college year.”

Ouch.

Many have been sharing the link to this article that was recently published in The Chronicle of Higher Education. The Chronicle is kind of a big deal. To put it mildly, a lot of people read it.

We’ve been doing a lot of posting about hazing lately and while this article makes us think about the topic further, we’re almost more interested in the tales of hypocrisy this brings to light. Not that it’s the first time we’ve ever thought of it, but – let’s be honest - it hits the tiniest bit harder when a giant news icon brings it to light.

Consider this:

What is Said	What is Real
The University of Florida Office of Sorority/Fraternity Affairs’ FAQ  list includes:  “What are the rules regarding hazing?” The response includes: “Hazing is contrary to the purposes of the Florida Greek community and the University of Florida.”	Nine members of Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. were recently charged with paddling five pledges and hitting them in the chest during a hazing ritual known as “thunderslaps.”
Cornell’s Office of Greek Life website reads, “Cornell’s Greek Community is among the best in the nation. There is no better example of student organizations that work to enhance their members’ collegiate experience.”	Complaints of hazing were increased from 15 in 2006/2007 to 31 in 2009/2010. One alleged incident involving George Desdunes resulted in his death.
Penn State’s website for the Office of Fraternity & Sorority Life reads, “Building lifelong friendships thorough collaborative and meaningful relationships is a key component to the fraternal experience at Penn State.”	“Little sisters” were allegedly tortured and beaten by older members of an auxiliary group associated with Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc. So badly beaten the women required treatment at a hospital.
The mission statement of the Radford University fraternity/sorority community includes, “The Greek community of Radford University will aspire to the high ideals, tenants, and traditions of the founders of their respective organizations by instilling amongst its members the true meaning of brotherhood and sisterhood…”	Members of Tau Kappa Epsilon allegedly forced pledge, Samuel Mason, to drink an entire bottle of alcohol resulting in a .48 Blood-alcohol level and his death.

We’ve all been involved in conversations about integrity: the concept of doing what we say we will do. There are many things wrong with the events noted above – and others like them – but what if we simply had integrity. We see two options:

1. We stop hazing, misusing alcohol, killing people, and so forth. 
2. We continue to haze, misuse alcohol, kill people, and so forth but just own up to the fact that we sometimes do it. 

What if we did option two? What would that look like? Instead of what’s currently in the first column maybe there would be statements like this:

University of Florida Sorority/Fraternity Affairs’ website would read, “Some of our chapters haze. We think it's wrong, but that's the reality that you should know. If you join, you may or may not be paddled to the point of being assaulted.”

Cornell’s Office of Greek Life website might read, “Here’s the deal: A large majority of our chapters are good, but some haze. Some haze so badly they’ve killed people in the past. Just putting it out there.”

Penn State’s website for the Office of Fraternity & Sorority Life might include, “We don’t endorse little sister groups, but they’re out there. Watch out, many of them haze pretty badly. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.”

And Radford? Oh, Radford. Maybe they’d just say this: “Yes, some of our chapters haze. If you’re hazed, you’ll more likely be made to drink yourself to death than be beaten up or forced to swim in a pool of vomit.”

It sounds kind of ridiculous, right? Who would publish these kinds of statements? You know what's even more ridiculous than these statements? THE FACT THAT THEY'RE TRUE.

Think about it. What activities does your chapter or community engage in that you would never admit? If you did admit it, how would the headline read? How embarrassing is it?

Who hazes? Jerks, that's who.

Once again, we’re beside ourselves.

The Alpha Epsilon Pi chapter at Boston University, albeit unrecognized by the university, was busted when police found five nearly naked men shivering in the fraternity house basement beaten and covered in condiments, flour, and coffee grounds.

We’re really mad. We were really mad a few weeks ago when we posted about the Dartmouth incident.

But, this article also makes us really sad. The police reports read, “All five were shivering and had horrified and fearful looks on their faces. They were tied together via duct tape wrist to wrist to form a human chain. [One] officer asked if they were alright and got no verbal answer. [One] victim looked right at [the] officer and with tears coming down his face shook head from right to left and back indicating no.”

WHO DOES THIS TO PEOPLE?! (Look, we’re yelling now.) Who takes a friend, a BROTHER, by the hand, puts duct tape on his near-naked body, screams and yells at him, covers him with horrible things, BEATS HIM, and then later tells him, “We love you, you’re a brother, you’re one of us… blah blah blah.”

If five women were found in a man’s home in this same situation, communities would be livid and in an uproar. It would be national, stop-what-you’re-doing-and-turn-on-the-television news. From what we can tell, no one has even been arrested so far. If a spouse did this to his or her partner, people would be keeled over in agony thinking about the horrors of domestic violence.

But this is relationship violence, too, people. It’s really no different. If you know anything about relationship violence, you’ve heard of the Cycle of Violence.

The cycle starts with tension building. The victim knows something is coming; they can just feel it in the air.

“Let’s go down to the basement, pledges.”

Then the violent incident occurs.

“Look what you’re making me do!”

Then, in comes the Honeymoon Period. Usually the perpetrator apologizes, tells their victim they love them, and minimizes the abuse – or denies it happened altogether.

“We love each other. Don’t worry, we’ve all been through this. Brotherhood is a strong and close relationship. We always back each other up. We always look out for each other.”

It’s a cycle, so it happens again and again. And again.

Who does this, you ask? Who would be so cruel, hateful, and abusive to someone they love? Hmmm, that’s a great question; we were just wondering the exact same thing.

Is there a double standard? Do people actually think it’s okay to beat some people but not others?

“[It] seems like torturing and it’s just beyond the limits.” One interviewed neighbor indicated.

Um, yes.

Another neighbor stated, “I’m not surprised but it’s definitely unfortunate.”

Yes, unfortunate is one word that comes to mind, although – quite frankly - we were thinking of some others.

Alpha Epsilon Pi has since closed this chapter. Their website reads, “Any members found responsible for participating in any actions contrary to our risk management guidelines will be expelled. We also intend to fully cooperate with all authorities and investigations.”

Where is the line?

Have you read this? This article, Confessions of an Ivy League Frat Boy: Inside Dartmouth's Hazing Abuses, was recently published in Rolling Stone magazine. We just got done reading it.

To be frank, we're livid.

Where is the line?

When is that point where you get up, head for the door, and say "Sorry, this is not worth it." We think that swimming in a kiddie pool filled with vomit, urine, fecal matter, semen, and rotten food is FOR SURE one of the things we'd walk away from. In fact, we'd even slam the door on the way out.

Ick. Gross. Shame on you, hazers.

Obviously, we're huge advocates of fraternal life. Look, we do it for a living. Lots of people do. But this, my friends, is not okay. There are a lots of reasons to join a fraternity or sorority. Heck, we've even made a list of some of the best ones. But this. This? This is not one of those reasons.

Those of you who are poo-pooing Sigma Alpha Epsilon specifically, just you hang on a minute. Obviously it's horrible. Those chapter members are horrible. But, if any headquarters or university staff member knew about this, if any member of the Dartmouth fraternity/sorority community knew about this, if any student on campus knew about this, if any member's roommate knew about this, if any parent or family member knew about this and failed to act they should be poo-pooed, as well.

We (kind of) get hazing. By "get it," we mean that we can understand the pressure to do something you wouldn't normally do - or feel uncomfortable doing - for the sake of belonging. We can all think of a time we've done something to belong... whether it was to join our fraternity/sorority, to avoid an argument with a friend, or just to fit in.

This doesn't mean that it's okay. It means that life is filled with lessons and opportunities to challenge what is right, to stand up for yourself and others, and to do the right thing despite the fact that it can be very (very) difficult.

So, where is the line? What would you never, ever do? At what point do you stand up for yourself - and in this case for your pledge brothers/sisters - and say, "no, this is wrong and we're not going to do it."

MORE IMPORTANTLY, when does that happen to the initiated/active member who is standing there watching other people - friends, BROTHERS - swim in vomit and urine stop to say, "No. Enough. This is wrong and I won't stand here and watch it happen."

This, my friends, is bystander behavior.

Best of Busted!

Theta Chi shuts down: Fraternity disaffiliates after members violate 'Good Conduct' requirement

Early last month the University announced the fraternity's disaffiliation, meaning that "Theta Chi is no longer recognized as a University of Oregon fraternity," as stated in a memorandum to the University Greek community. The decision came after fall term in which Theta Chi was found guilty of hazing and also incurred $10,000 worth of damages at a resort while on a retreat.

Theta Chi had been on probation for several years because of poor behavior. On Dec. 2, 2005, Eugene Police Department cited the fraternity as one entity for an alcohol-related infraction. A second citation followed in spring 2006.

In March 2007 the fraternity neared collapse after another fraternity reported Theta Chi for loading beer kegs into trucks to use for an official function. As a result, Theta Chi "came extraordinarily close to a mandated shutdown."

On the most recent Compliance Review for the Greek system, Theta Chi failed the "Good Conduct" requirement, which encompasses alcohol infractions, judicial sanctions and other behavior issues. It met the standards in all other fields, including academic performance.

The dealbreaker was Theta Chi's fall retreat to Odell Lake Resort. At the end of the trip, they were charged with $10,000 in damages. The bill included charges such as $700 for dishwashing and $800 in trash disposal.

In the coming terms, Theta Chi members "plan on continuing our traditions and maintaining our integrity as a chapter.”

Maintaining integrity as a chapter? It sounds to us like the chapter events most recently revolved around hazing and destructive activities…I guess that’s integrity if the chapter claims upfront that that’s what they are all about. But, we like to think that integrity refers to walking the talk of our fraternal values (which, last time we checked, didn’t include getting wasted and breaking stuff).

On top of everything, isn’t the whole concept of destroying hotel property during formals and date parties old news? Our fraternities and sororities were not founded with the ideas of formals and date parties. Even though such events have since become a normal, fun and perfectly acceptable component of our organizations, there must be a way to do it all with a little more class; one that doesn’t involve destroying other people’s property. No wonder most communities these days have more places that will not allow fraternities and sororities to host events than the number of places who welcome our events.


Reference
Hoffman, H. (2009, January 5). Theta Chi shuts down: Fraternity disaffiliates after members violate 'Good Conduct' requirement. [Electronic Version). Oregon Daily Emerald. Retrieved January 6, 2009 from: http://media.www.dailyemerald.com/media/storage/paper859/news/2009/01/05/News/Theta.Chi.Shuts.Down-3581728.shtml